Not all chains are forged by force

 “Not all chains are forged by force — some are passed down with love. It’s time to break them.”

Patriarchy doesn’t always wear a man’s face. Often, it speaks in a woman’s voice — gentle, familiar, trusted. It’s the mother who scolds her daughter for wanting too much education or independence. 

The boss who makes sure she is the only woman at the top, quietly shutting out others. The aunt who warns a girl to sit “properly” lest men stare.

When women enforce patriarchy, it rarely looks like oppression. Instead, it wears the cloak of tradition, care, and concern. And that’s what makes it so powerful, so deeply embedded in our lives.

The painful reality is that patriarchy doesn’t survive solely because men uphold it. It thrives because women, often unknowingly, pass down its rules—wrapped in culture, honor, and the hope of protecting the next generation. This cycle tells young girls how to behave, what is “appropriate,” and what dreams are too big to chase.

Yes, progress has been made — more girls attend universities, more women lead businesses, and more voices demand equality. But these successes touch only a small fraction of the world. For many, the story remains unchanged. Girls are still told their brothers’ education matters more. Women are pressured to fit into narrow roles, silenced if they speak too loudly or reach too high.

This isn’t just a story of individual oppression; it’s a systemic pattern passed down like an heirloom, polished with warnings of safety, respectability, and tradition. And when women uphold these customs, it doesn’t feel like violence—it feels like love, discipline, or respect.

If change is to come, it must begin with women reclaiming their power to challenge these inherited norms. It starts with the mother who tells her daughter that her dreams are valid and worth fighting for. The teacher who encourages girls to speak up and lead. The leader who opens the door wider for other women to step through.

But this is not a fight for women alone. Men must stand as allies—not as rescuers, but as partners. They need to question long-held beliefs, support women’s ambitions, and reject silence that condones injustice. The journey toward equality demands courage from all of us.

This is not about rejecting every tradition. It’s about discerning which customs uplift us and which confine us in outdated roles. Our history has value, but it must never become a cage.

True change requires reflection, bravery, and a willingness to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves and each other. It means asking uncomfortable questions: Are we teaching our daughters to be small so our sons can feel big? Are we honoring culture, or just repeating patterns of control?

Let us remember, obedience is not a virtue when it suppresses voices. Tradition is not sacred when it stifles growth. 

The time has come to break these chains—chains not forged only by force, but passed down in love and fear.