Please stop confusing us dear ladies

 Dear Ladies, Stop Confusing Us Gentlemen…We’re Trying!

From shoes to colours, sizes to cushions—how men survive the chaos.

Before I begin, let me say this: I love and admire the women in my life—my wife, my daughters, and all the incredible women around me. This is written in affectionate humour, celebrating your style, flair, and unmatched attention to detail. We were never in the picture because we can never match up ! 

Ladies, do you really have to make shoes, clothes, and colours so impossibly complicated—while laughing at us poor men?

Shoes, for instance. Men have three types: black, brown, and a pair or two of sneakers. Simple. Straightforward. Women? One might say, “I need nude kitten heels with a block heel, slingback strap, and faux suede.” To men, that sounds less like shoes and more like a puzzle.

Stilettos, wedges, platforms, kitten heels, pumps, peep-toes,  loafers, ballerinas, espadrilles, Mary Janes, gladiators, clogs, ankle boots, thigh-high boots, cowboy boots, combat boots, sneakers, trainers, mules, slides, flip-flops, sandals,  ballet flats, oxford shoes, moccasins, brogues, Chelsea boots, over-the-knee boots, court shoes, T-strap heels, chunky heels, wedge sneakers, wedges… if it can be worn—or fallen off—there’s a name for it.

And just when you think you’ve caught up, a new style appears. Like an invention no one saw coming.

Clothes are no easier. Men have shirts, trousers, shorts, a few suits, T-shirts, track pants—in boring colours like blue, grey, black, or white. Done. They hardly try clothes; maybe shoes if they’re in the mood. Women? Encyclopedia Britannica.

Blouses, camisoles, tunics, halter-necks, crop tops, tube tops, wrap tops, cardigans, shrugs, ponchos, capes.

Skirts: A-line, pencil, skater, mini, midi, maxi, pleated, tiered.

Trousers: leggings, jeggings, treggings, palazzos, chinos, capris.

Dresses: wrap, shift, sheath, bodycon, gown, sundress.

Outerwear: trench coat, duster, pea coat.

It’s a fashion dictionary… and a vocabulary test all at once.

Sizes add another layer of complexity. Men? Ask for medium, large, 40, or 42—try it, done. Women? Irrespective of build, they always go for the smaller size. Twist, squeeze, hold your breath—and proudly declare, “See? Size 8!” Meanwhile, the zip is begging for mercy.

Makeup and skincare are another universe. Men? Aftershave, deodorant, out the door in five seconds.

Women? Morning and night, it’s a ritual: foundation, concealer, powder, blush, highlighter, mascara, eyeliner, eyebrow pencil, lipstick, lip balm, setting spray… plus night creams, serums, masks, toners, moisturizers, exfoliators.

Mud face masks are particularly terrifying. They can transform a perfectly normal human into a creature from a horror film. Apply, wait, rinse, repeat. Like running a small chemistry lab on the face.

Soaps tell their own story. Men? One bar, one type, works for everything.

Women? Exfoliating, moisturizing, whitening, brightening, scented, unscented, glycerin, herbal, charcoal, honey, rose… each with a purpose, each with a shelf of its own.

Colours are the ultimate battlefield. Men: blue, grey, white, black—occasional pinstripes if feeling adventurous.

Women: teal, turquoise, aquamarine, sapphire, blush, rose, fuchsia, salmon, magenta, flamingo, champagne, ivory, cream, oyster, beige, nude, emerald, mint, sage, moss, olive… and the ever-tricky seafoam mist. Men call it green. Women know better.

And my daughters? Both are precise about design, colours, and room arrangements—every detail must be just so. Watching them organize their spaces is like observing tiny decorators at work: stylish, uncompromising, effortlessly beautiful. It’s easy to see where they get it from.

Everyday life becomes a comedy show. Decorating a room feels like a diplomatic mission. Asked, “Ivory or oyster?” Men nod, “Yes.”

Shown two cushions: “Which matches better?” Both beige, of course. But apparently, one is mushroom—and that is a matter of national importance. Other couples argue over shoes. Some over colours. Men? One cushion, done. Women? Teal or turquoise? The debate is endless.

Yet for all the quirks, obsessions, and rituals, life would be unimaginably boring without women. Their style, their colour, their sparkle, their humour—these make the world vibrant and unpredictable.

We love women—for their strength, charm, humour, and the way they make life infinitely richer every single day.

Men—are we stupid or just really, really dumb? Probably both.

But without women, we’d be wandering around clueless, wearing mismatched socks, and calling beige “grey.” And somehow, we still love it.