My spectacles and me

While many believe that Benjamin Franklin invented spectacles, actually it was Salvino D'Armati, a 13th century Italian from Florence. In reality, I do not care who invented them, as I am not very fond of them in the first place.

 Some believe that shades or dark glasses were worn even earlier than that to protect the eyes from the bright sun.

I started wearing spectacles in my 40’s and dark glasses about ten years before that.

This morning I woke at about five am, as I always do to read the newspapers and then spent around twenty minutes searching for my glasses. You can put this down to old age, amnesia, and the onset of dementia or whatever. You can call me careless, sleepy head or a forgetful old man- I DO NOT CARE!

I finally found them – they had slipped between the end of the sofa and the cushion.  Thrilled, I opened the door, picked up the newspapers and sat down to read them. Only then did I realize that these were my “distance glasses”. The “reading” glasses had been near my pillow throughout.

Now I know you are sniggering at me having different spectacles for reading and distance but that is me.

I did try the progressive ones a few years ago for a few days- three to be precise- got splitting migraines,  felt nauseous and put them aside for good.

So now, I carry two pairs around and that is the problem. Am usually wearing one and have the other in my pocket. Most of my shirts do not have pockets and if I am not wearing a coat, the second pair is usually deep in the trouser pocket.

This causes them to go out of shape and often become lopsided soon. I am quite careless with spectacles as well and often leave them lying around – on  office tables , on peg tables at home , beside me on the sofa , on the seat of the car , in the receptacle between the car seats etc  . When reading, the second pair is often on my lap and the obvious happens- I get up in a hurry and the glasses are on the floor. I have stamped them, kicked them and once smashed them as well.

I am constantly being advised on how to look after them – get lanyards, use a case, treat them with respect, don’t let them lie around- this advice goes in from one year and out of the other .

No, I am not proud of the way I treat my spectacles but I am so fed up with the two pairs.

As a young boy I remember hearing conversations of people having used their spectacles for years – they never broke, were damaged or lost!  How they managed with the same pair for years beats me.

In addition, I have not yet mentioned something else. Last week I suddenly put on my glasses (in the morning) and was definite I was losing my vision. Everything was a blur in the right eye. Thoughts of cataract and glaucoma raced through my mind as I rushed to the washroom and washed my eye and the glasses too.

Only then did I realize that the lens were badly scratched and my eyes were fine. Thankful for small mercies!

Therefore, off I went to the optician to have the lens changed. He recognized me and seemed rather pleased – do not think any of his customers go through four pairs of glasses in a year.

While I sit at my computer, keying in this article, I am wearing my old spectacles. I used the old distance ones while driving this morning. Once I get the newer pairs back, I will give these in for a similar lens change – you guessed it right – both these pairs are scratched as well.