Nana Ellen

 Nana Ellen

I must have been about seven or eight when, one morning, I woke to the surprising news: Nana Ellen had arrived! Back then, children weren’t part of adult conversations—we were kept firmly in the dark about plans, decisions, and especially about people we hadn’t yet met. Unlike today’s children, who seem to be in on everything - from travel bookings and holiday plans to family squabbles, we just waited for life to unfold around us and to play!

I’d never even heard of Nana Ellen before that day, let alone realized that I had a grandmother who was alive. She was my mother’s mother, who had been living in England for many years and was now returning to India. Who brought her? When did she arrive? I had no idea. I later overheard she’d come by ship to Bombay and then travelled by train to Allahabad.

There was quiet excitement in the house. I crept into the room next to ours, and there she was—fast asleep. Tall, still, and wrapped in an air of quiet authority even in sleep. Later that day, when I returned from school, I was introduced to her properly. She looked very old to my young eyes—though she must have been in her mid-sixties. Her grey hair was neatly tied in a bun, she wore large spectacles and had on an ankle-length dress. She looked regal. Strict. It’s a bit intimidating.

And then she drew me close and smothered me with kisses.

Nana Ellen settled into our home as if she’d always belonged. A true matriarch, she didn’t ask to be consulted, she simply took charge. There was no questioning who now held quiet authority in the house. She rose before anyone else, was always impeccably dressed before dawn, and maintained her room like a sacred space. Cleanliness and order were non-negotiable. Her bed was always neatly made, and we were strictly forbidden from sitting on it. A side table held her Bible, her rosary, and a few worn prayer booklets. Her room always smelled faintly of lavender and talcum powder.

She had a cupboard filled with ankle-length dresses—mostly in shades of blue, as I remember—and the most curious thing of all: a square leather hat box with brass studs. The hat box was strictly off-limits. Which, of course, made it irresistible.

Every Sunday, she wore a different hat to church—one with feathers, one with stones, another with a netted veil. I remember my mother and aunt wearing hats too, it was the fashion then, a sign of grace and decorum. But Nana’s collection was something else. One Sunday, when everyone was out, I gave in to temptation. I snuck into her room and lifted the lid of the hat box. It was like opening a treasure chest. Twenty or so exquisite hats in all colours and styles. I tried on a few, admiring myself in the mirror, grinning from ear to ear.

But Nana knew. Somehow, she knew. The moment she returned, she could tell someone had been in her room. I don’t recall how I gave myself away—but the scolding I received was swift and sharp. Perhaps even a slap or two—common in those days and never taken to heart.

Despite her strictness, there was great kindness in her. She was deeply particular about things - how we dressed, whether we had bathed properly (especially behind the ears!), how we said our prayers (on our knees, in her room), how we chewed our food (no noise, mouths closed), and of course, saying grace before and after meals. Elbows off the table! No talking with food in our mouths. No wasting any food and how to place the spoon and fork after we had finished the meal! Thinking back now, she was a tough cookie!

She had her ways, but she cared. She would ask if I had finished my homework, and oddly enough, she seemed to be involved in our daily rhythm without making a big show of it. We all learned a lot from her—even if we tried to avoid her when we could. To be honest, I often stayed out of her path. If she called for you, it usually meant you were in trouble!

And then one day, everything changed. I woke up to a strange stillness. There were too many people in the house. Soft voices, muffled sobs. We were not allowed into her room. Priests came. I remember shadows and whispers. And then—nothing. It’s as though my memory closed a curtain over that day.

Nana was gone.

Just like she had appeared in my life—without warning, she vanished. We never saw her again.

In those days, death was handled differently. Children weren’t told much. We were not part of the grieving process, not really. We sensed the sorrow, but we didn’t fully understand it. It was as if the adults carried the weight of loss alone, while we remained on the periphery—confused, quiet, a little lost.

Looking back, I realize what a force she was. She brought discipline, ritual, and a quiet elegance into our home. She ruled gently but firmly. She made her presence felt without ever raising her voice. She was the kind of matriarch every household once had—steady, prayerful, rooted in her ways.

And even now, I sometimes see her in my mind’s eye—tall, grey-haired, glasses perched on her nose, wearing a blue dress, a hat in hand… and watching us, always watching, with that mix of stern love and quiet pride.