Of hotels , toilets and lights

Hotel rooms and toilets confuse me at times.
Let me explain- and I have written something like this before
Go to a washroom in a 5 star hotel or a mall and at times your left looking................which is which for goodness sake ?.
Why can't they make it simple . No they believe in stressing you out and confusing you with which is LADIES and which is GENTS .
No-  they don't often write MEN/ WOMEN or any such thing . What fun would there be in that?
No they won't put up a simple photograph/ picture of a woman or a man.
No it will be nothing simple or straightforward - in fact the more complicated - the better.
They have KINGS and QUEENS with crowns / in robes - both FAT ( Most kings and Queens usually are )
They have outlines in GOLD / SILVER paint which, under bright lights really require one  to study the pic very very carefully lest you enter the wrong room by mistake .
Then there are  gold and silver foil figures - made by scatter brained artists indeed .
Then there are stick figures which are even worse.
I have seen people rushing towards the toilet and then staring at the signs - not sure and scared to make a mistake for obvious reasons.
Sometimes the signs  are on the door- sometimes on the wall - at varying heights and of various dimensions .
The corridors leading to  the loo are usually so bright that you can't decipher anything with the glare  or so bathed in warm soft light that yes- YOU CANT' READ  - and then there is music !
So this is what I do - I go - I walk slow - if there is no sign of life around , I put on my spectacles and try and decipher the mystery or else I pretend to talk on my phone till I see someone coming out- How I hate this mystery.
Even worse - once you get inside - how do you use the tap.
With the very modern sensors these days your left swiping your hand under/ over and beside the tap hoping for a miracle . Its funny when there are two or three people at the washbasin at the same time - all of them go swipe swipe swipe- trying to be as casual as possible - they look away hoping for that elusive water to come pouring out - its surely an exercise that has often left me embarrassed ( the same for the WC- For goodness sake WHERE IS THE FLUSH.)
Now to hotel rooms and lights.
There are any number of lights and lamps and so obviously there are any number of switches .
A few days ago I was in a hotel in Chennai - a classic hotel it was - a determined hotel as well- they were determined to confuse !
 I went around at night putting off the innumerable lights and lamps in my room .
In the passage as you enter/ in the washroom/ over the mirror/ 2 large lamps in the corner / 2 smaller bedside lamps /  reading lights on either side of the bed/ a reading light over the table /2 night lights /  a strange small focus light over the area where you make you tea / a special cupboard light .
After a few night caps and a hearty dinner the last thing one wants is a puzzle - that's exactly what it was .
No I was completely in my senses lest you get me wrong but it took the better part of 10 minutes to fathom out the switches for the various lights/ lamps.
The last to go off were the 2 bedside lamps- try as hard as  I did I could not find the switch - finally there it was - a small  1 centimeter silver pin hidden away obscurely under the side of the lamp.
After I had switched all of them off the room was far too dark.
So I started all over again searching for the switch to the night lamps.
God save me ..................

Of hotels , toilets and lights

Hotel rooms and toilets confuse me at times.
Let me explain- and I have written something like this before
Go to a washroom in a 5 star hotel or a mall and at times your left looking................which is which for goodness sake ?.
Why can't they make it simple . No they believe in stressing you out and confusing you with which is LADIES and which is GENTS .
No-  they don't often write MEN/ WOMEN or any such thing . What fun would there be in that?
No they won't put up a simple photograph/ picture of a woman or a man.
No it will be nothing simple or straightforward - in fact the more complicated - the better.
They have KINGS and QUEENS with crowns / in robes - both FAT ( Most kings and Queens usually are )
They have outlines in GOLD / SILVER paint which, under bright lights really require one  to study the pic very very carefully lest you enter the wrong room by mistake .
Then there are  gold and silver foil figures - made by scatter brained artists indeed .
Then there are stick figures which are even worse.
I have seen people rushing towards the toilet and then staring at the signs - not sure and scared to make a mistake for obvious reasons.
Sometimes the signs  are on the door- sometimes on the wall - at varying heights and of various dimensions .
The corridors leading to  the loo are usually so bright that you can't decipher anything with the glare  or so bathed in warm soft light that yes- YOU CANT' READ  - and then there is music !
So this is what I do - I go - I walk slow - if there is no sign of life around , I put on my spectacles and try and decipher the mystery or else I pretend to talk on my phone till I see someone coming out- How I hate this mystery.
Even worse - once you get inside - how do you use the tap.
With the very modern sensors these days your left swiping your hand under/ over and beside the tap hoping for a miracle . Its funny when there are two or three people at the washbasin at the same time - all of them go swipe swipe swipe- trying to be as casual as possible - they look away hoping for that elusive water to come pouring out - its surely an exercise that has often left me embarrassed ( the same for the WC- For goodness sake WHERE IS THE FLUSH.)
Now to hotel rooms and lights.
There are any number of lights and lamps and so obviously there are any number of switches .
A few days ago I was in a hotel in Chennai - a classic hotel it was - a determined hotel as well- they were determined to confuse !
 I went around at night putting off the innumerable lights and lamps in my room .
In the passage as you enter/ in the washroom/ over the mirror/ 2 large lamps in the corner / 2 smaller bedside lamps /  reading lights on either side of the bed/ a reading light over the table /2 night lights /  a strange small focus light over the area where you make you tea / a special cupboard light .
After a few night caps and a hearty dinner the last thing one wants is a puzzle - that's exactly what it was .
No I was completely in my senses lest you get me wrong but it took the better part of 10 minutes to fathom out the switches for the various lights/ lamps.
The last to go off were the 2 bedside lamps- try as hard as  I did I could not find the switch - finally there it was - a small  1 centimeter silver pin hidden away obscurely under the side of the lamp.
After I had switched all of them off the room was far too dark.
So I started all over again searching for the switch to the night lamps.
God save me ..................

Strange replies at interviews

Have spent a number of years interviewing teachers .
Some of the candidates are so typical and so strange.
Listen to some of the things I have come across  and which I can recall.

1.  Please introduce yourself -
Myself Karthik Kumar Sir - may I know what is your goodself's name Sir?
2.What is your good name Sir? So I tell him my good name -
 SIR I am so happy to meet you today - it is my dream .( whaaaaaaaaat )
3.Have you prepared for this interview Ma'am  ??
No Sir- If you can give me some minutes I will prepare and come back !
4.Why do you want to work in the UAE ?
 Because I am liking hot weathers Sir.
5.Are you a married man ?
Sir I was married - now I am not married but next week again I will be married .
6.Are you a good teacher ?
 Sir I am thinking I am a good teacher but I am thinking that you are also not thinking what I am thinking .
7.What are your strong points ?
 Sir I am going to gym so many points are strong , but arms are most strongest  point.
8.Do you think the children will like you as you are so serious ?
 Sir when I am serious childrens are smiling and then when I am smiling also children are smiling - so I am serious ( no idea what that was all about )
9.Can you elaborate on your background ?
Sir I am having small house - there is no back ground  Sir . Front ground is there but it is very small  Sir .
10.So your a music teacher - what instrument do you play? .
 Sir I am not playing any instrument .I am playing with my voice only  !
11. So your a PE teacher - what games do you play/
Sir I am playing running !
But don't you play any game ??????
Yes Sir
Which game my friend
Sorry Sir I am playing running .
So what do you make the pupils do during the PE  period
Sir we are playing running Sir.
12.Tell me anything you can about Akbar the great. ( see how clever /  crafty she was )
Sir
He was great/ he was Indian/ he was a famous man/ he was a kind man/ he was handsome/ he had a wife/ he had many children/ He was Muslim/ He went to mosque/ He said his prayers many times/ He was liking good things for the country/He had a palace/ he had many good clothings/ he also had much silver and gold /He was called Akbar the Great/his greatness was well known/ everybody loved him/ he loved everybody/ he built many buildings . ( the lady would have gone on and on if I had not stopped her - she was vague and clueless but very cunning with her answers !!)
13.What are your thoughts on Indian Politics
Sir I am not thinking about Indian Politics
Ok - What are your thoughts about the cricket fiasco and the spot fixing scandal
Sir - Sorry Sir I am not thinking of that  also.
Ok no problem- Please share your thoughts on the Education system in India
Sorry Sir .
My dear man- do you have any thoughts at all on anything
Yes Sir .
So PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH ME_ ANYTHING - NOW
Sorry Sir
WHY ARE YOU SAYING SORRY ?????
Sir I am not getting any thoughts
( I could have fainted )

 

Strange replies at interviews

Have spent a number of years interviewing teachers .
Some of the candidates are so typical and so strange.
Listen to some of the things I have come across  and which I can recall.

1.  Please introduce yourself -
Myself Karthik Kumar Sir - may I know what is your goodself's name Sir?
2.What is your good name Sir? So I tell him my good name -
 SIR I am so happy to meet you today - it is my dream .( whaaaaaaaaat )
3.Have you prepared for this interview Ma'am  ??
No Sir- If you can give me some minutes I will prepare and come back !
4.Why do you want to work in the UAE ?
 Because I am liking hot weathers Sir.
5.Are you a married man ?
Sir I was married - now I am not married but next week again I will be married .
6.Are you a good teacher ?
 Sir I am thinking I am a good teacher but I am thinking that you are also not thinking what I am thinking .
7.What are your strong points ?
 Sir I am going to gym so many points are strong , but arms are most strongest  point.
8.Do you think the children will like you as you are so serious ?
 Sir when I am serious childrens are smiling and then when I am smiling also children are smiling - so I am serious ( no idea what that was all about )
9.Can you elaborate on your background ?
Sir I am having small house - there is no back ground  Sir . Front ground is there but it is very small  Sir .
10.So your a music teacher - what instrument do you play? .
 Sir I am not playing any instrument .I am playing with my voice only  !
11. So your a PE teacher - what games do you play/
Sir I am playing running !
But don't you play any game ??????
Yes Sir
Which game my friend
Sorry Sir I am playing running .
So what do you make the pupils do during the PE  period
Sir we are playing running Sir.
12.Tell me anything you can about Akbar the great. ( see how clever /  crafty she was )
Sir
He was great/ he was Indian/ he was a famous man/ he was a kind man/ he was handsome/ he had a wife/ he had many children/ He was Muslim/ He went to mosque/ He said his prayers many times/ He was liking good things for the country/He had a palace/ he had many good clothings/ he also had much silver and gold /He was called Akbar the Great/his greatness was well known/ everybody loved him/ he loved everybody/ he built many buildings . ( the lady would have gone on and on if I had not stopped her - she was vague and clueless but very cunning with her answers !!)
13.What are your thoughts on Indian Politics
Sir I am not thinking about Indian Politics
Ok - What are your thoughts about the cricket fiasco and the spot fixing scandal
Sir - Sorry Sir I am not thinking of that  also.
Ok no problem- Please share your thoughts on the Education system in India
Sorry Sir .
My dear man- do you have any thoughts at all on anything
Yes Sir .
So PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH ME_ ANYTHING - NOW
Sorry Sir
WHY ARE YOU SAYING SORRY ?????
Sir I am not getting any thoughts
( I could have fainted )

 

Mr Beaman - Am sure many of you remember him

A ‘Master’ with the Common Touch

Mr. Beaman joined The Bishop’s School way back in 1972. I had the privilege of working with him since July 1981 when I was appointed teacher at the Bishop’s School, Pune.

The first few words that come to mind when I reminisce about      Mr. Beaman are ‘honest, God fearing, meticulous, straight forward and hard working’. There are many other traits worthy of mention, but the ones mentioned above, were his most endearing qualities.

As a teacher of English, he was ‘perfection personified’; whether it was vocabulary, punctuation or pronunciation, he knew it all, and as far I know, was never wrong. I could always count upon him to advise me correctly in any difficulties I faced with the English language, at which he was indeed a ‘Master’. His class always enjoyed his lessons, probably aware of the fact that they were being guided by someone who was the ‘very best’.

Mr. Beaman had other interests too, the school choir being one. He loved music and was actively involved in training the school choir for all its performances over the years. Classical music was his forté and he hardly ever missed a good performance, whenever there was one in Pune.

Quizzing was another one of his favourite pastimes and besides training and accompanying the quiz team to various inter-school competitions he enjoyed being the Quiz Master at the Inter-House Quiz Competitions held every year.

Being a bachelor and without encumbrances, the Boarding Section of the school was ‘his family’. He made it a point to attend all the meals in the Dining Hall, and even served the boys himself. He was in his element when school reopened after a long vacation – counting the boys, remarking on those who invariably returned late and on those who were usually homesick.

Mr. Beaman had a remarkable memory that enabled him to remember roll numbers, names etc. He could even tell you the year the boy joined school and whether he was a vegetarian or a non vegetarian!

He was meticulous while checking the class attendance registers, completing house lists and entering the names of new boys in the scholars register. His ability to spot mistakes in numbers and spellings of boys names was phenomenal- if you made a mistake you could be sure C.D.B (as he was often referred to) would spot it.

Another of his outstanding attributes was proof-reading, which, as I am learning through experience, is not only painstaking, but tiring, both mentally and physically. For Mr. Beaman it was just another job which he had mastered to perfection.

He loved animals - dogs, in particular. He also enjoyed reading, listening to the radio (BBC) and going for long walks.

Mr. Beaman led a very frugal existence and was accused of denying himself the good things in life. On visiting his room, one was usually taken aback at its simplicity – one look around told you that this was indeed a simple, God - fearing man, whose one desire was to serve others.

When I think back to 1981, and my first meeting with Mr. Beaman, I  remember that he filled me with awe,  but over the years that feeling was replaced with admiration and appreciation for a man who truly believed that ‘work is worship’.

To quote Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar:

“His life was gentle, and the elements

So mixed in him, that nature might stand up

And say to the world, ‘This was a man!”.

Mr Beaman - Am sure many of you remember him

A ‘Master’ with the Common Touch

Mr. Beaman joined The Bishop’s School way back in 1972. I had the privilege of working with him since July 1981 when I was appointed teacher at the Bishop’s School, Pune.

The first few words that come to mind when I reminisce about      Mr. Beaman are ‘honest, God fearing, meticulous, straight forward and hard working’. There are many other traits worthy of mention, but the ones mentioned above, were his most endearing qualities.

As a teacher of English, he was ‘perfection personified’; whether it was vocabulary, punctuation or pronunciation, he knew it all, and as far I know, was never wrong. I could always count upon him to advise me correctly in any difficulties I faced with the English language, at which he was indeed a ‘Master’. His class always enjoyed his lessons, probably aware of the fact that they were being guided by someone who was the ‘very best’.

Mr. Beaman had other interests too, the school choir being one. He loved music and was actively involved in training the school choir for all its performances over the years. Classical music was his forté and he hardly ever missed a good performance, whenever there was one in Pune.

Quizzing was another one of his favourite pastimes and besides training and accompanying the quiz team to various inter-school competitions he enjoyed being the Quiz Master at the Inter-House Quiz Competitions held every year.

Being a bachelor and without encumbrances, the Boarding Section of the school was ‘his family’. He made it a point to attend all the meals in the Dining Hall, and even served the boys himself. He was in his element when school reopened after a long vacation – counting the boys, remarking on those who invariably returned late and on those who were usually homesick.

Mr. Beaman had a remarkable memory that enabled him to remember roll numbers, names etc. He could even tell you the year the boy joined school and whether he was a vegetarian or a non vegetarian!

He was meticulous while checking the class attendance registers, completing house lists and entering the names of new boys in the scholars register. His ability to spot mistakes in numbers and spellings of boys names was phenomenal- if you made a mistake you could be sure C.D.B (as he was often referred to) would spot it.

Another of his outstanding attributes was proof-reading, which, as I am learning through experience, is not only painstaking, but tiring, both mentally and physically. For Mr. Beaman it was just another job which he had mastered to perfection.

He loved animals - dogs, in particular. He also enjoyed reading, listening to the radio (BBC) and going for long walks.

Mr. Beaman led a very frugal existence and was accused of denying himself the good things in life. On visiting his room, one was usually taken aback at its simplicity – one look around told you that this was indeed a simple, God - fearing man, whose one desire was to serve others.

When I think back to 1981, and my first meeting with Mr. Beaman, I  remember that he filled me with awe,  but over the years that feeling was replaced with admiration and appreciation for a man who truly believed that ‘work is worship’.

To quote Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar:

“His life was gentle, and the elements

So mixed in him, that nature might stand up

And say to the world, ‘This was a man!”.

A visit to the doctor

If anyone has been to the doctor as a kid it has been ME.
I've had the measles and the mumps - measles quite a few times in fact.
Tonsils and adenoids that plagued me for years and prevented me from having ice cream ( and believe it or not we owned the biggest ice cream parlour cum bar cum  in Allahabad ) way back in the 50's and 60's.!
I've had pneumonia followed by double pneumonia and I almost died .
I have had a severe allergic reaction to Sulphur !
Eyes, nose, ears - you name it and I guess like any normal kid I was taken to the doctor for it.
Then when my kids were growing up it was the same - trips to the doctor for this and that .
The routine over the years from the time I was a kid was the same .
You go to the doctor - you wait a while - he calls you in - looks you over - puts on a torch and peers into your throat and up your nostrils - pulls down the bottom portion of your eyelid and looks at it- puts the stethoscope into his ears and listens . Breathe- breathe he tells you.
Then he looks you over - tells you to sit down- takes out a pad - scribbles in a few medicines and signs with a flourish.
If you enquire as to whether you should come again ,your told - "if your not better then come after a week- but I don't think you will need to come" - Confident as hell.
You walk out feeling better immediately. You buy the medicine - you take it and pronto - a few days later your well. In fact you start feeling better after the first few doses.
These days its so very different.
Lets just presume that you are visiting a doctor for the first time
This is somewhat the scenario.
You phone the doctor to make an appointment.
If your lucky he will see you the next day or the day after if he can squeeze you into his busy schedule- by the way your not talking to him- its his secretary/ receptionist / a nurse at the clinic.
She is business like and asks for your reference number / mobile number and full name - thankfully she does not ask for your bank account/ credit card no- at least not yet.
You finally get to the clinic . It's 6 .00 pm
You are given a form and you fill it in - some forms  require so many details , they   make you feel like your applying for a new passport .
Form filled and handed in - then you get a number . Its all very proper.
The nurse then takes you for  your height / weight / temperature check/ pulse rate  . Just to make sure she says .
Let me cut to the chase- its your turn to see the doctor now.
You enter the doctors chamber and he smiles and you shake hands.
" How are you ", he says dryly .
I often feel like saying " About to die " or something to that effect .
I tell him what the problem is - maybe just a very stuffy nose and a slight body ache - for goodness sake I know its the flu- so just get on and give me a tab to cure it .
No - its not that simple .
He looks at his laptop and keys in some information .
He asks for symptoms and you tell him that its the flu .
He looks at you sarcastically as if to say - if that's the case go cure yourself.
He knows your in his clutches as he moves in for the juggler vein.
He then goes through the torch , throat, nose , eyes routine and your relieved . This was a breeze .
He then goes back to the computer and keys in some more information . I peer- trying to pry - no luck.
He then picks up the phone and summons the nurse who he hands a paper to.
" Just have a blood and urine test " -  "to rule out a few things" says he in a matter of fact tone .
That's easier said than done - the blood test is fine - but a urine test ???
OK let me drink water - one glass- two glasses - I  feel bloated extremely bloated  but there is no signs of the wretched urine  .........................Do I have stones - I wonder ????!!!!!! A blockage maybe !
Finally that's done too.
The results will take 30 mts - so relax says the nurse .
You sit and re- read the morning papers.
People dead/ women raped/ floods/ famine/ job scarcity/ building collapse/ earthquake - depressing to say the least.
You wonder at the diseases in the room around you .
You have come in with flu- you could go home with Pneumonia, tuberculosis or whooping cough - a weak mind sure plays trick on you .
The nurse comes back and calls your name out loud .
For goodness sake - there are only 2 people left in the clinic and one is a lady- surely she cant be Mr Michael
"The doctor feels that an X Ray would be an added precaution" says the nurse .
I  have that too- I  do not complain- if you have to die it might as well be due to radiation !
An hour gone by - people are packing to go home and I am  the last one there ."   The
Doctor will see you now" says the sleepy looking nurse- its  a few minutes  past 8.00 pm  .She would have left by now - she looks like she is cursing me under her breath. I could do without curses at this stage .
The doctor looks at the reports and the X ray. No expression at first. I am about to panic - could it be something serious- something unexpected - isn't that how they sometimes find that you have a killer disease when you go for something totally different ?
Doctor looks up from the reports
" Just a mild infection  " he says "  Nothing to worry about but at least we are sure its nothing else ".
He smiles ...........
He then starts keying in the medicines and the bill amount .
2 capsules( antibiotics probably ) thrice a day after meals for 4 days , 2 tablets, once a day before meals  for 5 days  - one mixture twice a day after meals for a week.
Pain killers in case of pain- once a day after meals- at night- as they make you drowsy.
A multivitamin to counteract the antibiotic
He is done . He then makes small talk and looks at his watch .I get up and thank him .
I  go to pay - I  almost give a yelp when I  see the bill . But I  dare not make a sound lest he call me back on hearing the yelp and order some more tests !.
I take the prescription to the pharmacy and then decide.....................
" Do I actually need all these medicines"
I  look carefully and buy just the tablets for pain and fever .
I  go home - feeling worse and very despondent .
I  take the tabs along with some home made remedy which I  should have taken in the first place
I  get better .
The body has cured itself .
Amen.