Strange replies at interviews

Have spent a number of years interviewing teachers .
Some of the candidates are so typical and so strange.
Listen to some of the things I have come across  and which I can recall.

1.  Please introduce yourself -
Myself Karthik Kumar Sir - may I know what is your goodself's name Sir?
2.What is your good name Sir? So I tell him my good name -
 SIR I am so happy to meet you today - it is my dream .( whaaaaaaaaat )
3.Have you prepared for this interview Ma'am  ??
No Sir- If you can give me some minutes I will prepare and come back !
4.Why do you want to work in the UAE ?
 Because I am liking hot weathers Sir.
5.Are you a married man ?
Sir I was married - now I am not married but next week again I will be married .
6.Are you a good teacher ?
 Sir I am thinking I am a good teacher but I am thinking that you are also not thinking what I am thinking .
7.What are your strong points ?
 Sir I am going to gym so many points are strong , but arms are most strongest  point.
8.Do you think the children will like you as you are so serious ?
 Sir when I am serious childrens are smiling and then when I am smiling also children are smiling - so I am serious ( no idea what that was all about )
9.Can you elaborate on your background ?
Sir I am having small house - there is no back ground  Sir . Front ground is there but it is very small  Sir .
10.So your a music teacher - what instrument do you play? .
 Sir I am not playing any instrument .I am playing with my voice only  !
11. So your a PE teacher - what games do you play/
Sir I am playing running !
But don't you play any game ??????
Yes Sir
Which game my friend
Sorry Sir I am playing running .
So what do you make the pupils do during the PE  period
Sir we are playing running Sir.
12.Tell me anything you can about Akbar the great. ( see how clever /  crafty she was )
Sir
He was great/ he was Indian/ he was a famous man/ he was a kind man/ he was handsome/ he had a wife/ he had many children/ He was Muslim/ He went to mosque/ He said his prayers many times/ He was liking good things for the country/He had a palace/ he had many good clothings/ he also had much silver and gold /He was called Akbar the Great/his greatness was well known/ everybody loved him/ he loved everybody/ he built many buildings . ( the lady would have gone on and on if I had not stopped her - she was vague and clueless but very cunning with her answers !!)
13.What are your thoughts on Indian Politics
Sir I am not thinking about Indian Politics
Ok - What are your thoughts about the cricket fiasco and the spot fixing scandal
Sir - Sorry Sir I am not thinking of that  also.
Ok no problem- Please share your thoughts on the Education system in India
Sorry Sir .
My dear man- do you have any thoughts at all on anything
Yes Sir .
So PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH ME_ ANYTHING - NOW
Sorry Sir
WHY ARE YOU SAYING SORRY ?????
Sir I am not getting any thoughts
( I could have fainted )