Life is fragile

Two incidents which happened quite close together reminded me how fragile and temporary  life really is .

Around three weeks ago I visited one of the schools I work with  and met a lady who was in Middle management . I often saw here whenever I visited . She assisted me that particular  day  and chatted animatedly for a few minutes as she usually did – always cheeful and smiling .One morning , ten days later she felt breathless & was rushed to  hospital . Blockages were found and   a stent was  put . She  came home  and was on the road to recovery .  

A few days later she felt out of sorts again , was taken back to hospital again and passed away later that day . She leaves behind grieving friends and relatives . It all seems to have happened in a blur .

A week or so ago , once again in a school , a gentleman  came to see me after a function   . We chatted for a while , exchanged pleasantries &  took a few photographs . He sounded  excited about his son going to college in a few months’ time and about the upcoming board examinations .

Two days later   I heard  he had travelled abroad , had suddenly developed a serious health problem  and needed an urgent  procedure to be performed . The same was carried out and he is recovering well by God’s  grace – need I add, he is a lovely gentleman .

Thinking about such things often make me well up and feel sad .

Is life unfair ? Is it far too fragile for us humans to cope? Are we ever going to be prepared ?

We often get so caught up in the day to day chores , jobs and accompanying  worries , living life in the fast lane that we find no time to pause, reflect and smell the roses . The destination is always beckoning us and we are always in “fast forward” mode.

Everything is either a race , a chase or a competition and we have conditioned ourselves to enjoy it or so we believe .  

Often I remark about our lives as educationists,  preparing pupils for life ten or fifteen years hence,  while not actually having a clue what life has in store for any of us a minute from now . In reality , there are no guarantees and all you can do is live , love and be the best version of yourself as possible .

I know this is easier said than done but we need to take ourselves away from the artificial aspects of life and the things that wont matter in the long run and learn to appreciate what we have in the “now” because at any time it can all end .

At the start of every year you hear people talking about how “this year” they will tick items off their bucket list -:

The sky dive they are dying to do

The trip up to the Everest base camp

The book they planned to write ( me )

However we keep putting off the start and we choose  to stay busy while complaining about the paucity of time to indulge in our pet projects .

While planning ahead and striving for new goals is admirable, we also need to enjoy the present moments and celebrate our successes however small and insignificant they may seem at the moment  .

We all have to deal with minor annoyances and inconveniences in our lifetime  but we should learn to complain less and parctice gratitude instead .

Envy, hate, anger, jealousy are all toxic emotions that eat us up – we know that for a fact but that does not prevent us from letting them fuel our passions and emotions to frightening proportions . At times It's fine to take inspiration from others &  to admire their life style and achievements  but that can lead to envy  and do more harm than good .

Often we look at neighbours, friends and colleagues and the life they lead – the fun, the frolic, the fancy cars and sprawling mansions  but we must  remind ourselves  that we don’t actually know the life they lead – their regrets, insecurities, and self doubts which they could be masking with a smile – it’s the truth !

Facebook and Instagram do make for happy families and continous good times ! The fact that we know that many are faking it does nothing to stop us from pressing the “like” button

On closer inspection we need to embrace the life we have , leaving behind the negativity and that which does not matter .

A lot of our time, energy and passion  is wasted in futile pursuits in trying to change the world instead of trying  to change ourselves and therin lies the problem . We are reckless with the time at our disposal in the present , passified by the assumption that our future will be enriched by the things we hope to do .

I am often reminded of the lines from As you Like it by William Shakespeare and spoken by Jaques

“  All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts”

The day we are born, the curtain goes up and we start playing that first part– there are no practices and no  dress rehearseals and we are thrown head first into  the final show – there is only  one chance to prove ourselves  .

Life is an extremely  precious and fragile gift & we need to make the most of it because, like a china pot , it can easily fall and shatter into a thousand pieces and all that would be left would be tears in other peoples eyes .

 

Life is fragile

Two incidents which happened quite close together reminded me how fragile and temporary  life really is .

Around three weeks ago I visited one of the schools I work with  and met a lady who was in Middle management . I often saw here whenever I visited . She assisted me that particular  day  and chatted animatedly for a few minutes as she usually did – always cheeful and smiling .One morning , ten days later she felt breathless & was rushed to  hospital . Blockages were found and   a stent was  put . She  came home  and was on the road to recovery .  

A few days later she felt out of sorts again , was taken back to hospital again and passed away later that day . She leaves behind grieving friends and relatives . It all seems to have happened in a blur .

A week or so ago , once again in a school , a gentleman  came to see me after a function   . We chatted for a while , exchanged pleasantries &  took a few photographs . He sounded  excited about his son going to college in a few months’ time and about the upcoming board examinations .

Two days later   I heard  he had travelled abroad , had suddenly developed a serious health problem  and needed an urgent  procedure to be performed . The same was carried out and he is recovering well by God’s  grace – need I add, he is a lovely gentleman .

Thinking about such things often make me well up and feel sad .

Is life unfair ? Is it far too fragile for us humans to cope? Are we ever going to be prepared ?

We often get so caught up in the day to day chores , jobs and accompanying  worries , living life in the fast lane that we find no time to pause, reflect and smell the roses . The destination is always beckoning us and we are always in “fast forward” mode.

Everything is either a race , a chase or a competition and we have conditioned ourselves to enjoy it or so we believe .  

Often I remark about our lives as educationists,  preparing pupils for life ten or fifteen years hence,  while not actually having a clue what life has in store for any of us a minute from now . In reality , there are no guarantees and all you can do is live , love and be the best version of yourself as possible .

I know this is easier said than done but we need to take ourselves away from the artificial aspects of life and the things that wont matter in the long run and learn to appreciate what we have in the “now” because at any time it can all end .

At the start of every year you hear people talking about how “this year” they will tick items off their bucket list -:

The sky dive they are dying to do

The trip up to the Everest base camp

The book they planned to write ( me )

However we keep putting off the start and we choose  to stay busy while complaining about the paucity of time to indulge in our pet projects .

While planning ahead and striving for new goals is admirable, we also need to enjoy the present moments and celebrate our successes however small and insignificant they may seem at the moment  .

We all have to deal with minor annoyances and inconveniences in our lifetime  but we should learn to complain less and parctice gratitude instead .

Envy, hate, anger, jealousy are all toxic emotions that eat us up – we know that for a fact but that does not prevent us from letting them fuel our passions and emotions to frightening proportions . At times It's fine to take inspiration from others &  to admire their life style and achievements  but that can lead to envy  and do more harm than good .

Often we look at neighbours, friends and colleagues and the life they lead – the fun, the frolic, the fancy cars and sprawling mansions  but we must  remind ourselves  that we don’t actually know the life they lead – their regrets, insecurities, and self doubts which they could be masking with a smile – it’s the truth !

Facebook and Instagram do make for happy families and continous good times ! The fact that we know that many are faking it does nothing to stop us from pressing the “like” button

On closer inspection we need to embrace the life we have , leaving behind the negativity and that which does not matter .

A lot of our time, energy and passion  is wasted in futile pursuits in trying to change the world instead of trying  to change ourselves and therin lies the problem . We are reckless with the time at our disposal in the present , passified by the assumption that our future will be enriched by the things we hope to do .

I am often reminded of the lines from As you Like it by William Shakespeare and spoken by Jaques

“  All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts”

The day we are born, the curtain goes up and we start playing that first part– there are no practices and no  dress rehearseals and we are thrown head first into  the final show – there is only  one chance to prove ourselves  .

Life is an extremely  precious and fragile gift & we need to make the most of it because, like a china pot , it can easily fall and shatter into a thousand pieces and all that would be left would be tears in other peoples eyes .

 

The drawers in the house

For some reason or the other, we have a lot of drawers in our house and they collect junk or so I believe, much to the chagrin of the ladies in the household (read wife and two daughters) I would prefer none. No drawers attached anywhere. Then who is to explain this complex issue to the furniture designers of the world. For me, drawers are a pain For example - the showcase in the hall room has two humungous drawers, which are filled to the brim. The cabinet with my collection of beer mugs has two more , which have additional beer mugs in them as well. Then there is the bedside table, which also has two small ones - the dressing table with two long drawers - the draws in the little table in the bedroom, which in itself is of no use. I could go on. Now that is only two rooms that I have mentioned but I am sure you get the drift. Somehow, the two drawers that came with the showcase have been attached to my life and me and if you ask anyone what there is in them, the answer is “dads stuff”. So dad- (that is me) peered into them a few days before Christmas in an attempt to lighten them up, lest they collapse under the weight of the “dad’s stuff” in them. I must say, at this juncture that I was shocked at what I saw within. Now you may attribute the stuff within, to me, in some way or the other but technically, it was NOT MY STUFF. Let me explain. The items in the drawer were all “man items” if I may be permitted to coin a phrase. You would usually find them in man caves, in basements, in garages etc. However as we do not have any of those fancy rooms, they items are in the drawers. Now I had definitely seen these items, had probably put them there as well but that is where the story ends. Let me tell you what I found and I am going to list the same for ease of reference. 1. Any number of phone chargers – all colours, shapes, sizes and models. Never in my wildest dream could I imagine that over the years we had used so many phones. Of course, we could have lost chargers and bought new ones as well but there were seventeen in number. 2. Plugs, adapters and connecting wires. There were about twenty separate adapters and plugs plus different lengths of wire with plugs at the end. Some were male and some female – Yes I know the difference lest you are smirking at my ignorance! 3. These adapters were in all shapes and had probably been used in the different countries we had visited. Some also belonged to various appliances around the house. Others were still wrapped in plastic and had never been opened. They belonged to hair dryers, mixers, washing machines, grinders, blenders, television sets, computers, printers, irons, fridges, music systems, Karaoke sets, telephones, lamps and the like. 4. Tools – there were different types of tools , nails , screws, small pieces of plastic ( something to do with the electric connections ) all stuff I never use. 5. Bulbs – No clue but there are a large number of bulbs. Some for the various rooms but others, which seem to fit nowhere – probably bought for lamps long discarded or else they belonged to an old chandelier in the previous house. 6. Batteries – batteries always confuse me. There are the normal A, AA and AAA. Then there are others, which once again leave me befuzzled due to their size, and shape- just can never fathom out what they were for. 7. Books and cards – Encyclopedias and dictionaries which had not been used since Google came into the house , story books belonging to my kids ( now adults) which they read thirty years ago, recipe books , school magazines from various schools over the years , books on decoration , and old cards ( birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Easter, New year , ‘Eid, Diwali, Teachers’ day . While on the topic of books , let me add in the fact that the drawer was also choked with instruction books – for appliances , various apparatus & for the cars I have had over the years in the UAE– some in English, Hindi and even Arabic . Most of these have never been read Now except for some of the books, the rest of the stuff was not mine. Then the fight began! I am not a repairperson, I know nothing of tools and I never use them. As for the appliances – if there is a wire and plug and the same has to be plugged into the socket on the wall – fine – I can do it. If it requires something to be joined to something else, if there are red, green and blue connectors or wires and I have to decide which is which, if a connection has to be made or a fuse repaired – I opt out – simple and straightforward. Finally, I just chucked most of the stuff out and lightened the drawer – made me feel better. In addition, no – Marie Kondo has not influenced me

The drawers in the house

For some reason or the other, we have a lot of drawers in our house and they collect junk or so I believe, much to the chagrin of the ladies in the household (read wife and two daughters) I would prefer none. No drawers attached anywhere. Then who is to explain this complex issue to the furniture designers of the world. For me, drawers are a pain For example - the showcase in the hall room has two humungous drawers, which are filled to the brim. The cabinet with my collection of beer mugs has two more , which have additional beer mugs in them as well. Then there is the bedside table, which also has two small ones - the dressing table with two long drawers - the draws in the little table in the bedroom, which in itself is of no use. I could go on. Now that is only two rooms that I have mentioned but I am sure you get the drift. Somehow, the two drawers that came with the showcase have been attached to my life and me and if you ask anyone what there is in them, the answer is “dads stuff”. So dad- (that is me) peered into them a few days before Christmas in an attempt to lighten them up, lest they collapse under the weight of the “dad’s stuff” in them. I must say, at this juncture that I was shocked at what I saw within. Now you may attribute the stuff within, to me, in some way or the other but technically, it was NOT MY STUFF. Let me explain. The items in the drawer were all “man items” if I may be permitted to coin a phrase. You would usually find them in man caves, in basements, in garages etc. However as we do not have any of those fancy rooms, they items are in the drawers. Now I had definitely seen these items, had probably put them there as well but that is where the story ends. Let me tell you what I found and I am going to list the same for ease of reference. 1. Any number of phone chargers – all colours, shapes, sizes and models. Never in my wildest dream could I imagine that over the years we had used so many phones. Of course, we could have lost chargers and bought new ones as well but there were seventeen in number. 2. Plugs, adapters and connecting wires. There were about twenty separate adapters and plugs plus different lengths of wire with plugs at the end. Some were male and some female – Yes I know the difference lest you are smirking at my ignorance! 3. These adapters were in all shapes and had probably been used in the different countries we had visited. Some also belonged to various appliances around the house. Others were still wrapped in plastic and had never been opened. They belonged to hair dryers, mixers, washing machines, grinders, blenders, television sets, computers, printers, irons, fridges, music systems, Karaoke sets, telephones, lamps and the like. 4. Tools – there were different types of tools , nails , screws, small pieces of plastic ( something to do with the electric connections ) all stuff I never use. 5. Bulbs – No clue but there are a large number of bulbs. Some for the various rooms but others, which seem to fit nowhere – probably bought for lamps long discarded or else they belonged to an old chandelier in the previous house. 6. Batteries – batteries always confuse me. There are the normal A, AA and AAA. Then there are others, which once again leave me befuzzled due to their size, and shape- just can never fathom out what they were for. 7. Books and cards – Encyclopedias and dictionaries which had not been used since Google came into the house , story books belonging to my kids ( now adults) which they read thirty years ago, recipe books , school magazines from various schools over the years , books on decoration , and old cards ( birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Easter, New year , ‘Eid, Diwali, Teachers’ day . While on the topic of books , let me add in the fact that the drawer was also choked with instruction books – for appliances , various apparatus & for the cars I have had over the years in the UAE– some in English, Hindi and even Arabic . Most of these have never been read Now except for some of the books, the rest of the stuff was not mine. Then the fight began! I am not a repairperson, I know nothing of tools and I never use them. As for the appliances – if there is a wire and plug and the same has to be plugged into the socket on the wall – fine – I can do it. If it requires something to be joined to something else, if there are red, green and blue connectors or wires and I have to decide which is which, if a connection has to be made or a fuse repaired – I opt out – simple and straightforward. Finally, I just chucked most of the stuff out and lightened the drawer – made me feel better. In addition, no – Marie Kondo has not influenced me

Confusion condemned

This is the time for the Indian media owners and not just journalists to stand up and say "Count me in " It's time for the common man to say "enough is enough". It's time for all Indian's to forget caste, religion and language and protest peacefully against what they feel is wrong . That is the essence of democracy . If and when politicians strive to divide , the commoners must unite . Violence is not the answer - common sense is. Let's stop talking about alleged enemies across the boarder planning to attack the country. That is a convenient distraction which pops up every now and then. India is attacking itself. The country is imploding . All the TV channels, news papers and tens of thousands of citizens can't be wrong . Our beloved motherland is on fire and the poor and the marginalised will suffer once again. Will better sense prevail or will mob violence be the order of the day ? This is a democracy and silent peaceful protestors are being beaten , Lathi charged , tear gassed and arrested . Undesirable elements are causing more confusion . This always happens and genuine protestors get a bad name . Section 144 has been imposed in many areas. There is an internet blackout, essential commodities are in short supply and prices are rising. I pray that people identify the perpetrators of this nonsense . I pray that peace reigns. We can surely do without this mayhem and madness.

Confusion condemned

This is the time for the Indian media owners and not just journalists to stand up and say "Count me in " It's time for the common man to say "enough is enough". It's time for all Indian's to forget caste, religion and language and protest peacefully against what they feel is wrong . That is the essence of democracy . If and when politicians strive to divide , the commoners must unite . Violence is not the answer - common sense is. Let's stop talking about alleged enemies across the boarder planning to attack the country. That is a convenient distraction which pops up every now and then. India is attacking itself. The country is imploding . All the TV channels, news papers and tens of thousands of citizens can't be wrong . Our beloved motherland is on fire and the poor and the marginalised will suffer once again. Will better sense prevail or will mob violence be the order of the day ? This is a democracy and silent peaceful protestors are being beaten , Lathi charged , tear gassed and arrested . Undesirable elements are causing more confusion . This always happens and genuine protestors get a bad name . Section 144 has been imposed in many areas. There is an internet blackout, essential commodities are in short supply and prices are rising. I pray that people identify the perpetrators of this nonsense . I pray that peace reigns. We can surely do without this mayhem and madness.

Christmas

Christmas will come and go in the blink of an eye. One minute you are putting up the tree, doing last minute shopping, getting a makeover in an attempt to look younger, decorating the house and planning your parties and the next you are putting away the dirty dishes, throwing away the accumulated garbage, labelling the packed decoration boxes and wondering why you feel bloated and exhausted. Then there is the X’ Mas post mortem – how so and so’s cake tasted, the ill-fitting dress worn by a friend , the boring party , the small talk (read gossip), the boring sermon by an ill prepared priest , the overcrowded malls – the list goes on . Santa goes back to wherever he is supposed to have come from, the reindeers are put out to pasture and sanity is restored once again. Oh yes you also have gifts which you will probably recycle! OMG where did the year go – the months really flew by ! And then everyone starts contemplating the New Year – fingers and toes crossed – hoping for good tidings. Yippee it’s New Year’s resolution time. Research has shown that about half of all adults make New Year’s resolutions. However, fewer than 10% manage to keep them for more than a few months and that too is stretching it a bit! The origin of New Year’s resolutions is quite interesting. The ancient Babylonians made promises to their Gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts on time. The Romans began each year by making promises to the God Janus, for whom the month of January is named. Thereafter bedlam has reigned with the whole world jumping on the bandwagon and continuing, what has now become a craze New Year’s resolutions are quite a pain but “What’s your New year’s resolution”? is a question on so many minds in January every year so everyone starts thinking in advance so as not to feel out of sync during upcoming conversations? We all know how easily people can fall into bad habits and why on trying to give up those habits it is easy to relapse. New Year’s Resolutions usually come in the form of lifestyle changes and changing behaviour that has become routine and habitual can be hard to do. Google the term ‘NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS’ and there are umpteen pages on the same. The most common resolutions made every year around the world are: losing weight, doing more exercise, quitting smoking and saving money. All undoubtedly look good and meaningful. Who doesn’t want to fit into clothes better , drop a size or two, be able to run a mile without panting , feel healthier and have some sort of a healthy bank balance . The main reason that people don’t stick to their resolutions is that they set too many or they’re unrealistic to achieve. They may also be victims of the “false hope syndrome”. False hope syndrome characterized by a person’s unrealistic expectations about the likely speed, amount, ease and consequences of changing their behaviour. So here is my new year’s resolution- to try and be a better person than I was in 2018 – for myself and those around me. Not a SMART target but ok for someone who can do without the jargon. So what’s yours?