I hate the trolleys in supermarkets.
Ok, let me tone that down before people start suggesting anger management classes for me – I like supermarkets and malls but I hate most of the trolleys therein.
Now please don’t get me wrong – I love shopping for groceries and walking down long isles, buying things I don’t need. Let me modify that too before people brand me a shopaholic- my wife is the one doing the buying, while I am the one who is pushing the trolley.
Back to the trolleys, and our shopping last Sunday.
We needed a few vegetables and some curd according to the Mrs. and I knew right away what that meant, as it has happened before. We go in with good intentions, but by the time we are done with ‘shopping’ it’s about two hours, I am fed up with life as a married man, and looking for the nearest bench or chair to rest my weary body, but that, after finding the washroom. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go!
So last Sunday was no different, but this is about the disgusting trolley that I pulled out from a line of about twenty. That’s Murphy’s law, isn’t it? You may wonder as to why I pushed it forward when I knew it was malfunctioning. Well, trolleys are sly creatures. They start out all smart and perfect and soon you are on roll – one isle after another. Then the inevitable happens.
Like most husbands, I guess trolleys get a tad fed up too, and that’s when they start playing up. All was going well that day when all of a sudden, my trolley wheels seemed to have jammed and it came to an abrupt halt. After a few kicks and shakes all seemed ‘hunky dory’, but then, without so much as a by your leave, this monster started a game with me. It instantaneously started moving to the left. The more I tried to steer it straight, the more it kept veering off to the left.
Before you can say “Jack be nimble”, I was banging into oncoming trolleys, knocking over large pumpkins, grazing people’s shins and knees, missing shelves of glassware by millimeters, and in general causing mayhem.
I was scolded by a rather fierce-looking man for attempting to force my way into the middle of a queue, when all I was actually doing, was trying to steer the trolley toward the payment counter. That was easier said than done.
Did I tell you I had a bad back when I went in and this imbecile only made it worse? So here I am, limping along, back aching and pushing an overloaded trolley, that was as stubborn as a mad mule.
After almost knocking an old lady off her feet and crashing into the payment counter, we cleared the bill and I breathed a sigh of relief. I just had to go down a small slope and then move towards the car park.
That’s when my trolley decided it needed to visit the lady’s loo. Yes, you read that right! Despite my best intentions, it went careening down the slope in the exact direction of the toilet, with me and my bad back limping along, trying to make it go straight out of the exit door nearby.
Three ladies were chatting & exiting the toilet and I was almost inside! They jumped aside to avoid getting injured. A meter or so more, and I would probably have been escorted away by security and arrested. That would have made nasty news for sure!
My wife was oblivious to the agony I was in, as she was still looking to see what else she could buy on the way out, and that irritated me no end.
We finally made it to the car, but not before almost scraping the side of an oncoming vehicle whose driver must have thought me insane, for seeing him approaching in broad daylight, yet walking in the center of the path in an attempted suicide mission.
Please – can someone get these supermarkets and malls to service their trolleys?