Do you have a friend, colleague, or acquaintance who, at times you would prefer to avoid?
Have you suddenly met someone for the first time in your life and after the first few minutes of the conversation, you are saying to yourself “why me Lord”?
I guess all of us have had our fair share of these types in our lives at some time or the other.
I certainly have.
So, what does one do when they suddenly appear, seemingly out of nowhere and seem to literally be coming in your direction?
Here are some the things I have done to avoid the agony – Turned and walked purposefully in the opposite direction while appearing deep in thought or whipped out my phone and started an imaginary conversation with a ghost on the other end of the line. Depending on the location, I have immediately started a heated discussion with someone else, entered another office or have begun typing furiously on my computer as if my life depended on that mail. I have also, often put my hand on the land line phone and requested to be excused as I was waiting for an extremely urgent call. Scribbling furiously on a pad has also worked for me !
Call me devious if you will but desperate times call for desperate measures!
I have had to do all the above and more because there are some people in this world who have attempted to suck the energy out of me. Often, they have left me drained and extremely jaded.
The look on their faces, the tone of their voice , the phrases they use and the remarks they pass are enough to make a soldier fall ill, a flower to wilt , a cat to refuse milk or a dog to ignore his bone- okay that may be a bit of an exaggeration and a trifle over the top but I am sure by now you get the drift .
You may not believe, this but research has proven that it is their low vibrational emotions that can leave you feeling exhausted, irritated, frustrated, and if I may add - totally overwhelmed.
These energy vampires are everywhere. They pop up at the least expected place and time and can ruin your day. You bump into them at the mall, suddenly see them outside church, at the cinema, at a party or God forbid in a plane – and that too in the seat beside you!
Such people can be divided into two types – the exuberant and the sad.
The exuberant will come up to you, bouncing and beaming with energy and here are some of the things they will say with ‘syrupy empathy’ if I may coin a phrase .
“All well? You do not look too good. Anything I should know?”
“You look pretty pulled down – you better get a check-up”
“Don’t play the fool with your health – please go to the doctor”
“You’ve lost a lot of weight Boss – I almost didn’t recognize you”
“You’re looking so sad – what’s upsetting you”
“You’re not your usual self today”
As if that were not enough to make you feel ill and debilitated, they dissect parts of you – starting from the head and moving downwards.
“What’s with your hair – no life at all in it / don’t tell me you are losing your hair”
“Your eyes are so sunk in / you have dark circles under your eyes / the whites of your eyes have a yellowish tinge / you’re looking so sleepy and tired out”
“Please don’t tell me you are coming down with Jaundice”
“What’s with your skin- its so dry/ looking patchy / why the sallow look/ you look so pale”
“Are you not eating well – you’re all skin and bones”
“Your lips have turned so dark/ what is with the dry chapped lips- they are a sign of poor health”
“Straighten your shoulders, you’re looking so old”
“Is that a paunch I see – better get your BP checked”- not good for the heart”
“All okay on the home front?’’
Then there are the self-pitying, melancholy, sombre souls, who seemingly carry the sorrows of the world on their shoulders.
With them, the conversation if you can call it that, goes somewhat like this
Me “So what’s happening”?
They “nothing much – just feeling so depressed”
Me “Why don’t you go out somewhere”
They “Where to go- nothing exciting”
Me at a get together, “Come on dance/ join in the games – it’s fun”
They- “Our days are over- no more dancing and games for us”
Me- “We are going to so and so place in the evening – Coming?”
They – “Not sure / Let’s see how we feel/so much to do at home”
You are also very likely to meet or be called upon to deal with, despondent individuals at the workplace as well. At times they use their well-known, dispirited nature, to their advantage, at times to play hooky as well.
Always subdued, rather wistful and with a bleak outlook to life they are agonisingly slow in speech and manner & rather annoying in everything they say and do.
Whining and complaining, they always make out that they are either the victim or the martyr and look for validation.
Any project you ask them to lead or any team you ask them to join will be met with either a half-hearted yes coupled with a dozen reasons why the project might not work or a downright no – the reason often given “ its so difficult to get others to work” or “people don’t appreciate my ideas”.
Mind you, it is not that these manipulative individuals are incompetent – they are just ineffective, melodramatic and at times even downright devious.
On the other hand, I have a relative. Definitely my role model, he is young at heart , pragmatic, enthusiastic, energetic, entertaining and the life of any party. Happy go lucky & charming he is a happy individual - always brimming with positive energy. Ask him how the day is going or how life is treating him, and his characteristic answer is “SIMPLY MARVELLOUS’’
I guess it takes all types of people to make up the world!
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