Gratitude or resentment - the choice is yours

 

·        “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha

 

Why in Dickens’ name are people so negative now a days, especially when there is so much apprehension, fear, and sadness in the world – a time when we could all do with a whole lot of hope, dollops of love and tones of optimism?

Distressing isn’t it?

If it is not jumping on the pandemic bandwagon and going all out to prove that there is no Covid and the whole thing is a hoax, propagated by some one or the other, to criticizing the various vaccines and helping spread false information, or the very latest – attacking the new US President who has been in office for 2 days-   this is just so crazy. At times it is laughable and at others, exasperating.

 Relax- take a long walk, go for a jog, breathe deeply meditate, calm your nerves, pray, and just reflect on the great harm you are doing yourself and those around you – society at large, if I may.

Negativity in any form, is toxic, pessimistic, gloomy, and extremely cynical, to say the very least.  You are being sceptical, downbeat, and disagreeable, and no one is appreciative or amused- and there are so many of you out there.

Have you never heard that negative emotions cause plenty of harm and little good? They are self-destructive, will eat into you and make you ill and then you have families, friends and colleagues too. Introspection is key.

Always expecting the worst, making mountains out of molehills & willing bad outcomes is BAD and I am certainly not searching for a synonym to soften the impact.

Here is something which I read, which makes perfect sense.

 ‘Negative attitudes are actually inherent feelings of helplessness and hopelessness which create chronic stress, upsets the body's hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system. Chronic stress can decrease our lifespan and ruin beautiful relationships’.

Our "negativity bias" translates into frustration and disgust for everything and everybody, and people end up spending valuable time, ruminating over minor everyday problems —traffic, career dissatisfaction, health and family issues or a disagreement with a loved one— and ignore the many chances that we are given to experience wonder, awe, gratitude, peace and love throughout the day.

If you go searching for what is wrong with the world, you are going to find something or the other which is not ideal or perfect, in your eyes. That will be your starting point, the igniting spark which ‘gets your goat’ - after which you will go off on a tangent, rave and rant and in the process, unnecessarily  ruin your own mental equilibrium, for no rhyme or reason whatsoever .  

I am certainly not advocating the fact that you must be upbeat and positive 24/7- that would be foolhardy and rather ignorant on my part. We cannot be positive all the time- after all, we are human.   

Now. there is a school of thought that debates vociferously, that negative thoughts are good for us and suppressing them is bad. Their arguments do make a certain amount of sense and I am not disputing that fact.

According to the study, attempts to suppress feelings such as anger or sadness can reduce our sense of contentment. Point noted, appreciated, agreed with, and understood.

However, spewing forth negativity into the world around you with frequent regularity, is something which needs serious consideration coupled with  a deep understanding and acknowledgement.

Ultimately, however difficult the situation, we must accept the rough and the tough periods in our lives to make the smooth and the future, that much better. To use a cliched phrase – every cloud does have a silver lining – being ready and willing to wait, search for and find it is key.

So, the choice is ours – Gratitude or resentment?

 Remember - gratitude is an extremely powerful catalyst for happiness. It brings joy to the soul, peace to our lives, makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

·        Echoing the words of the Lutheran pastor & theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer “I’ve had a remarkable life. I seem to be in such good places at the right time. You know, if you were to ask me to sum my life up in one word, it would definitely be gratitude.’’

 

 

Gratitude or resentment - the choice is yours

 

·        “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” – Buddha

 

Why in Dickens’ name are people so negative now a days, especially when there is so much apprehension, fear, and sadness in the world – a time when we could all do with a whole lot of hope, dollops of love and tones of optimism?

Distressing isn’t it?

If it is not jumping on the pandemic bandwagon and going all out to prove that there is no Covid and the whole thing is a hoax, propagated by some one or the other, to criticizing the various vaccines and helping spread false information, or the very latest – attacking the new US President who has been in office for 2 days-   this is just so crazy. At times it is laughable and at others, exasperating.

 Relax- take a long walk, go for a jog, breathe deeply meditate, calm your nerves, pray, and just reflect on the great harm you are doing yourself and those around you – society at large, if I may.

Negativity in any form, is toxic, pessimistic, gloomy, and extremely cynical, to say the very least.  You are being sceptical, downbeat, and disagreeable, and no one is appreciative or amused- and there are so many of you out there.

Have you never heard that negative emotions cause plenty of harm and little good? They are self-destructive, will eat into you and make you ill and then you have families, friends and colleagues too. Introspection is key.

Always expecting the worst, making mountains out of molehills & willing bad outcomes is BAD and I am certainly not searching for a synonym to soften the impact.

Here is something which I read, which makes perfect sense.

 ‘Negative attitudes are actually inherent feelings of helplessness and hopelessness which create chronic stress, upsets the body's hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system. Chronic stress can decrease our lifespan and ruin beautiful relationships’.

Our "negativity bias" translates into frustration and disgust for everything and everybody, and people end up spending valuable time, ruminating over minor everyday problems —traffic, career dissatisfaction, health and family issues or a disagreement with a loved one— and ignore the many chances that we are given to experience wonder, awe, gratitude, peace and love throughout the day.

If you go searching for what is wrong with the world, you are going to find something or the other which is not ideal or perfect, in your eyes. That will be your starting point, the igniting spark which ‘gets your goat’ - after which you will go off on a tangent, rave and rant and in the process, unnecessarily  ruin your own mental equilibrium, for no rhyme or reason whatsoever .  

I am certainly not advocating the fact that you must be upbeat and positive 24/7- that would be foolhardy and rather ignorant on my part. We cannot be positive all the time- after all, we are human.   

Now. there is a school of thought that debates vociferously, that negative thoughts are good for us and suppressing them is bad. Their arguments do make a certain amount of sense and I am not disputing that fact.

According to the study, attempts to suppress feelings such as anger or sadness can reduce our sense of contentment. Point noted, appreciated, agreed with, and understood.

However, spewing forth negativity into the world around you with frequent regularity, is something which needs serious consideration coupled with  a deep understanding and acknowledgement.

Ultimately, however difficult the situation, we must accept the rough and the tough periods in our lives to make the smooth and the future, that much better. To use a cliched phrase – every cloud does have a silver lining – being ready and willing to wait, search for and find it is key.

So, the choice is ours – Gratitude or resentment?

 Remember - gratitude is an extremely powerful catalyst for happiness. It brings joy to the soul, peace to our lives, makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

·        Echoing the words of the Lutheran pastor & theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer “I’ve had a remarkable life. I seem to be in such good places at the right time. You know, if you were to ask me to sum my life up in one word, it would definitely be gratitude.’’

 

 

The fuss about WhatsApp

 I fail to understand what all the fuss surrounding WhatsApp is about. Its in the press , in the news and on everyone's lips . Call me naïve, brazen, stupid, slow, dull, and foolhardy- or what you will. If you are going to continue using Facebook, Instagram and twitter., Google etc. then your account is already compromised to quite an extent. Unless you are some big wig, world mover and shaker types, international spy, holder of classified information, just relax and stop shouting from the roof top, for goodness sake. No one is coming after you - they don't even know or care that you exist . Whenever something like this happens , all and sundry get hot and bothered under the collar. Everyone is suddenly an expert on the topic . The amount of messages and unsolicited advice I have received to this effect, are unbelievable but thank you nevertheless. Have received innumerable forwards to download Signal as well. My answer is no. Thanks but no thanks . Elon Musk has not called me as yet . So dear friends and relatives - Am staying with WhatsApp for the time being and not making any drastic changes – I hate knee jerk reactions in the first place . I am not vowing never to change, so don't hold me to it, but not at the present moment. One look at my WhatsApp account, and in fact, most people’s WhatsApp accounts, will tell you that they will evoke little, if any interest at all. Here is what is on my WhatsApp for you to be the better judge. Please let me know if I am in the “you will be spied upon category” Good morning, messages- many repeats Good night messages Recipes Prayers & blessings Wishes for festivals Jokes Photographs of people ,pets, scenery, vegetables , houses , hotels – and I am not an ace at this either . Meeting requests/ reminders. Mundane messages about any and everything under the sun. If anyone wants to read them, copy them, use them to change world policy and economics – be my guest. My WhatsApp messages and details will not affect the share market, topple governments or start revolts. At least I don't think so ! As such - Please continue to message me on the same platform . Of course be careful - be very careful, as somebody may be spying on your phone . And by the way- WhatsApp did not pay me to write this !

The fuss about WhatsApp

 I fail to understand what all the fuss surrounding WhatsApp is about. Its in the press , in the news and on everyone's lips . Call me naïve, brazen, stupid, slow, dull, and foolhardy- or what you will. If you are going to continue using Facebook, Instagram and twitter., Google etc. then your account is already compromised to quite an extent. Unless you are some big wig, world mover and shaker types, international spy, holder of classified information, just relax and stop shouting from the roof top, for goodness sake. No one is coming after you - they don't even know or care that you exist . Whenever something like this happens , all and sundry get hot and bothered under the collar. Everyone is suddenly an expert on the topic . The amount of messages and unsolicited advice I have received to this effect, are unbelievable but thank you nevertheless. Have received innumerable forwards to download Signal as well. My answer is no. Thanks but no thanks . Elon Musk has not called me as yet . So dear friends and relatives - Am staying with WhatsApp for the time being and not making any drastic changes – I hate knee jerk reactions in the first place . I am not vowing never to change, so don't hold me to it, but not at the present moment. One look at my WhatsApp account, and in fact, most people’s WhatsApp accounts, will tell you that they will evoke little, if any interest at all. Here is what is on my WhatsApp for you to be the better judge. Please let me know if I am in the “you will be spied upon category” Good morning, messages- many repeats Good night messages Recipes Prayers & blessings Wishes for festivals Jokes Photographs of people ,pets, scenery, vegetables , houses , hotels – and I am not an ace at this either . Meeting requests/ reminders. Mundane messages about any and everything under the sun. If anyone wants to read them, copy them, use them to change world policy and economics – be my guest. My WhatsApp messages and details will not affect the share market, topple governments or start revolts. At least I don't think so ! As such - Please continue to message me on the same platform . Of course be careful - be very careful, as somebody may be spying on your phone . And by the way- WhatsApp did not pay me to write this !

21st century skills

 “21st Century Skills” is a term I hear ever so often. Go to any conference, so called educational workshop, session or meet anyone who knows an ounce about education and they go on and on about 21st century skills. I did a random google search and this is what Google threw up on the topic. 21st century skills encompass: - Critical thinking, problem solving, reasoning, analysis, interpretation, synthesizing information. Research skills and practices, interrogative questioning. Creativity, artistry, curiosity, imagination, innovation, personal expression. Perseverance, self-direction, planning, self-discipline, adaptability, initiative. How different are these from what happened in the 20th century? It is no rocket science – Look at your parents & grandparents if they are still around or find out about them. You will be surprised. They were no country bumkins. They were no rudderless sailors on a choppy sea not knowing where they were headed to. They were focused, smart thinkers, solved problems that they were faced with, reasoned out, analysed, and interpreted with ease. They were curious, artistic, imaginative, and persevering. They were team players to the core. They were self-disciplined, adaptable and always took the initiative. They read, wrote and spoke with a fluency worthy of emulation Supposedly, these 21st-century skills are far more important to students now than ever before because, they not only provide a framework for successful learning in the classroom but ensure students can thrive in a world where change is constant and learning never stops. Seriously? These intrinsic skills have always been useful in the classroom and learning has never slowed down or stopped . Yes – Technology is truly a 21st century skill but we need to remember that Information cannot be equated with knowledge. As for most of the others – I would love a debate. No harm in thinking is there?

21st century skills

 “21st Century Skills” is a term I hear ever so often. Go to any conference, so called educational workshop, session or meet anyone who knows an ounce about education and they go on and on about 21st century skills. I did a random google search and this is what Google threw up on the topic. 21st century skills encompass: - Critical thinking, problem solving, reasoning, analysis, interpretation, synthesizing information. Research skills and practices, interrogative questioning. Creativity, artistry, curiosity, imagination, innovation, personal expression. Perseverance, self-direction, planning, self-discipline, adaptability, initiative. How different are these from what happened in the 20th century? It is no rocket science – Look at your parents & grandparents if they are still around or find out about them. You will be surprised. They were no country bumkins. They were no rudderless sailors on a choppy sea not knowing where they were headed to. They were focused, smart thinkers, solved problems that they were faced with, reasoned out, analysed, and interpreted with ease. They were curious, artistic, imaginative, and persevering. They were team players to the core. They were self-disciplined, adaptable and always took the initiative. They read, wrote and spoke with a fluency worthy of emulation Supposedly, these 21st-century skills are far more important to students now than ever before because, they not only provide a framework for successful learning in the classroom but ensure students can thrive in a world where change is constant and learning never stops. Seriously? These intrinsic skills have always been useful in the classroom and learning has never slowed down or stopped . Yes – Technology is truly a 21st century skill but we need to remember that Information cannot be equated with knowledge. As for most of the others – I would love a debate. No harm in thinking is there?

The first day of the winter vacation

 So, woke early, despite it being the first day of my winter break! Yes, I love this time of the year in the UAE. It is cool, the air has a nip in it and is crisp, the shops look lovely and then there is family and a few close friends. (This year will be slightly different though) On holidays I tend to wake earlier than usual, so today it was 4 45am. Hate the day to go by while I am lolling in bed – do not understand how people get up at noon and say, ‘it is a holiday’! Toiletries, morning tea and newspapers devoured, I decided to go to the gym and attempt to be the first one there. As it is just about 7 minutes away, I walked out of the front door briskly at 8.15 (the gym opens at 8.30 only to go right down to the basement and realize that I had forgotten my headphones. I hate to have to return for anything. So up I trotted up again mumbling to myself & a trifle annoyed. Back to the car and off I go. No. Back to the house again and this time from the mezzanine – the water bottle was left on the table when I went to get the headphones. The day was starting to annoy me. Dementia? No. Just getting older or whatever! Justified it to myself as I often do – “everything happens for a reason and I could have met with an accident if I had left at the original time”. So- reached the Gym and presto I was the first one there. Loved the feeling to have it all to myself Clicked a snap to prove it. Looked around in case there was someone working out quietly in some corner, and so pleased to just see myself in the mirrors. Logged into the gym Wi-Fi, put on some great music, and managed an hour’s workout. Felt good – looked into the myriad mirrors again- sucked my stomach in to the best of my ability and congratulated myself on the 2 pack! Still a very very long way to go. On the way back I decided to have a haircut as my hair was annoying me . Free parking! There was a new barber who seemed to be pretty good at his job, but rather inquisitive in his approach and manner. By the time he had finished interrogating me – yes it felt like that- I realized that I had been so busy trying to give him some wrong answers to protect my privacy, that I had not noticed what he was doing with my hair. By the time he swung in with an exaggerated flourish and a large smile on his face – large mirror in hand- to show me the back of my head, the deed had been done. Looked good to me and I was pleased as punch. Finally, a great haircut. Walked out of the saloon looking and feeling much lighter – entered the front door and their faces said it all - according to the family, my hair had been cut badly (as usual) – it was far too short, and I would look rather silly at Christmas. I put on a show of bravado and countered with some talk about my personality and how I would shave it bald if they made any more fun etc but it carried no weight and everyone carried on with their life and I with mine. Just had some tasty home-made Chinese noodles for lunch – my favourite. Now to doze. My hair grows quickly.