Cats, dogs and humans

 So while on a walk this evening my attention was drawn to cats ,dogs and humans. 

You see, it's a lovely one and a half kilometre walk around a large lake. There is an observation I made today. 

When someone is approaching from the opposite side, both people seem confused as to which side of the track to walk on. Believe it or not I have often had to step aside at the last moment to avoid banging into the person approaching from the opposite direction. Odd isn't it?

What strikes me as strange is that very few nod, smile leave alone wish each other the time of the day. I tried it on a few occasions with minimal success . Have stopped now. Don't want anyone to think I am trying to be extra friendly!

As we pass each other, we humans look down at the ground, look at our phones, look at the scenery around, up at the sky or just stare blankly ahead. Probably a trifle rude but that's the way it is.

Very much like cats- no emotion. All that's missing is the hissing !

On the other hand, watch maids walking their master's dogs. Or for that matter, the owners themselves. As soon as the dogs see their counterparts approaching they are all excited. 

They are whining , barking, straining on their leash and so excited. The closer they come, the more the excitement. 

As soon as they are together they are jumping, barking in excitement, licking each other, running around and one can perceive the pure unadulterated joy.

They put us humans to shame.

We are busy putting up walls and fences - busy wearing 'masks' and avoiding others just because we ' don't know them'. 

Dogs are good examples aren't they ?

Plenty for us to learn indeed.

Teach your kids

 Teach you kids.....

That earthworms don't bite

And butterflies don't sting.

That gekos are timid

And many birds sing.

That gardening

 is a great way to pass time 

And walking barefoot is fun

That staying indoors is unhealthy 

 And plenty can be gained

From playing in the sun.

That reading books

 is not outdated

And board games 

Teach us more than we imagine.

That music is a stress buster

And playing an instrument 

Is a great add on to a CV.

That cuts, bruises and scrapes 

Are part of growing up

And very normal 

And that arguments and disagreements

Are not wars

 and cause no permanent scars.

That it's okay to lose

And no disgrace to place second or third.

That winning is great

But being defeated is a learning experience too.

Teach them these and more

And teach them well.

Ducks and me

 Up with the rising sun and out for a walk - also in the mood to do a bit of writing so looking for inspiration. 

There it was ,right before me - a single little brownish duckling, towards the corner of the lake. He was young and precautious, and he saw me for sure because he stared brazenly without flinching.

Oh, that guy was all alone and sure was having fun. He was not in need of any company either!

He was ducking and diving- bobbing in and out of the water and fluttering his wings every now and then. This was unadulterated relaxation fir him. 

He swirled and twirled, and did umpteen three sixties, while keeping a keen eye out for feline predators patrolling nearby. 

He then took a deep dive and emerged with something in his beak. Probably a morning snack ! He definitely saw me moving closer to take a photo, because he moved further, towards deeper water. He continued darting about, splashing and frolicking for a while, and then, like a mini speedboat departing, he swam away stealthy,leaving a pattern of tiny waves behind him. He was definitely making the best of the amazing weather. 

I walked on. I have a bit of a paunch I am trying to rid myself of so I increased my pace. 

Then at the other end of the lake , on a small ledge, beside a fountain, stood five white adult ducks. 

They had their backs to each other and seriously looked bored and dejected with life! I stood and observed them for a while . They stood motionless ,staring aimlessly.

There was no frolicking , no diving, no swimming , no fun. They fluffed their wings occasionally, while using their flat beaks to clean the feathers under their neck. Obviously more of a habit than a necessity.

All that was missing were their mobile phones, if you are able to make the connection!

Got me thinking of human beings.

It's fun when your young . You are bursting with energy and you're always raring to go. However, as you get older, you become dull, monotonous and uninspiring. You lose the spring in your step - the laughter dries up and you resign yourself to the years ahead- to pantaloons, slippers, spectacles and medication!

Don't let it be that way. Life is for those who truly want to live it.

And remember- you can have fun on your own as well, because at times, company can be boring. 

Forget about conforming to the expectations of society. If you want to have your 'me time', go ahead and have it. 

It's your life after all .

Am sure the next time you see ducks, you will think of my little story.

On being grateful

 Went for a walk this morning. There was a bit of a nip in the crisp air. The pristine lawns, with the lake near by, looked awesome. The whole area was spotlessly clean and the hedges had been freshly trimmed. The ducks made me feel like having a swim. Then I looked at the sky and saw clouds with the rays of the sun forcing themselves through. Beauty personified. 

I immediately thought of poetry- it was there for the taking. 

I sat down excitedly and started keying in words. Nothing like a descriptive poem to inspire readers.

Then I remembered that I was colour blind, and was not being able to do justice to nature, in all its glory. ' That's not fair', I said to myself.

I put the phone away and walked home dejectedly. 

And then realisation dawned....

I felt grateful. Immensely grateful

I could see

I could walk 

I had a home 

Breakfast would be ready.

Being positive is paramount.

This is officially the first day of my vacation and I feel good.

 I am no Christopher Columbus , no Fridtjof  Nansen, no Ibn Battutta either.

At times I am of  the firm opinion that I was not born to travel - travel is indeed anathema to me .

Do I like to travel ? Yes - and that indeed is the unexplainable paradox  !

 Don't get me wrong -   I like to travel but to be frank I enjoy the destination but  literally detest the journey.

  No I don't think that explanation carries weight .

Its not actually the journey but the build up that gets under my skin - that gets me all jittery and irritable and a trifle nervous as well . A trifle ? Give me a break !

When someone at a party walks in with a swagger, joins the conversation , talks with  style , says he lives out of a suitcase for 20 days a month and has just flown in that very evening from Timbukto after visiting Belarus and never even had time to shave  , I  am ready to bow in reverence .

How do they do it ? These demi Gods of the skies need to get a star named after them .

Listen to one of my stories  now and be the better judge .

I had to travel to India - to Delhi to be precise . It was a 3 day trip and should have been a breeze .

For me it was a hurricane. Thunder and lightening thrown in for effect .

Booking an online  ticket was the first hurdle  - this is easier said than done . There are umpteen flights and far too many airlines . Too many options confuse me. There were 207 flights from the UAE to Delhi . Its a 3 hour journey approximately for  goodness sake so show me the best flights first .

However the first 30 options  or so showed journeys which lasted anything between 18 and 30 hours in totality .  There were 3 stop flights  , 2 stop flights and one stop  flights . They were mini whirl wind tours of India from the sky . You missed the dirt and the grime and the pollution as you were at airports and airports are cleaner than most cities . (At least most of them are till you visit the toilets )  You landed and took off till you were giddy  and nauseous.

Pray where were the non stop flights? Should they have not been the first option?

Finally I got to the non stop flights .

After keying in many details I saw that the flights were full on the day I had decided to travel on . Murphy's law in play.

I start all over again and come to payment options . It says that they will send me a secret number  via sms which I need to key in to verify payment . I wait and yes you guessed correctly - NO MESSAGE

I take a break and an hour or so later I start all over again. Presto- the fares have increased by 100 rupees . Now that's what I call ' making a fast buck'

Tickets booked finally and I heave a sigh of relief.

Lets cut to the chase . Packing is always fun . Depending on the weight the particular carrier allows . What do you take by way of clothes . My mind goes back to that demi God who " just threw some things into a duffel  bag and was out of the house in a jiffy " I bow again. Pray fair Sir how do you do it ?

If you minus the weight of the suitcase itself and leave a kg or 2  for the faulty weighing scale at many  airports , there aren't very many options . So I pack the minimum  and hope against  hope  that it will suffice . The suitcase is opened , checked, weighed  and closed any number of times - and this too , many hours before departure . OCD probably ? There is always something more to put in, something extra to take out and something to change . And then there are the keys - tiny key holes make it even worse. 

Then- I must have something handy to wear in the hand luggage - what if my suitcase is lost ?

Then its the ticket , the passport , the money , the pouch , the keys , the pen , the phones, the charger, the multi plugs, a book to read, the I pad , another charger...................

If its an early morning flight I set two alarms because although I get up early on a regular basis , something tells me that on the day of the flight I may go into a stupor and wake late . I then get up a couple of times in the night to check the time and ensure that I have set the correct alarms and that things are not on silent mode or any such nonsense. You never know with these gadgets - they tend to play up at the most inopportune moments. 

I then try in vain to hypnotize myself to sleep, to count sheep , chickens or whatever . When the alarms finally do go off I am already dressed.

Breakfast - no- it may upset my stomach . Who knows what a fried egg can do when its in the mood ! 

Will the taxi arrive - will the driver be on time . What is the car breaks down .  

The luggage was put near the door the previous night - saving time in the morning !

I have never bathed faster. I usually have a shave the night before .

Am at the airport after having checked my ticket and passport umpteen times - don't want to risk leaving them at home do I ?

Don't want to land at the airport with the wrong passport either . 

I also check my visa and passport expiry dates - just in case - you never know when they will expire and I will be stumped . I

If you thought this was stressful wait for the next steps.

I always - yes always get static electricity shocks from the trolley . Disgusting .

There is a long line of passengers waiting to check in . Why is everyone travelling just on this day . Why so many children as well .  After what seems like eternity I am at the counter .

These counter guys and gals know how very important they are to us travelling mortals and they sure make the most of it .

Always worried about the weight of my  luggage - have paid for excess quite often - but not when travelling alone so why the tension ? Don't ask me .

The luggage is weighed - it always seems to weigh a kilo or two more that what the weighing scale showed at home but no issues - still within limits . Sigh. Chuckle to myself- am learning to beat the system . No money to be paid. 

The problem is  in the next step - If I have not done an online check in then will I manage an isle seat- you see I am claustrophobic and I just cannot sit anywhere else but in the aisle seat .

So I try to sound humble, simple , friendly etc I smile - it always  works . No clue what I would do if it did not . "Mr Guzder- I have managed to give you an isle seat " The voice floats towards me on a cloud- I am in seventh heaven . 

Now comes the dreaded Passport control- what if my name clashes with someone who has been blacklisted ? I know with the combination of my First and surname there is a very slim chance of this happening , but then one never knows - Murphy's law and all .............

I am asked to look into the camera - the man / woman at the counter does a double take - Is something wrong ? Do I resemble someone dangerous ? Is this the day I have been dreading - will I be taken away for interrogation ? Handcuffed . Who will I make a call to ?. I rack my brains and keep a name in mind . 

Nothing of that happens - and I move on but I could have sworn that the person at the counter almost sent for a superior officer - just to make sure I was who the passport said I was !

Its now the body and hand luggage check .

I deposit every piece of metal on my person into my hand bag - watch , belt , mobiles , purse . Will they ask me to take off my chain - I hope not as I can't.

I spread my legs , raise my hands and try and look as un - threatening as possible. Surely the guy wont ask me to step aside . The ticket is stamped . I say thank you loud and clear . I breathe deeply .

 I go through without a scratch  but my bag seems to have vanished .

Then I see it coming- very slowly  - then the guy pulls it back to check again . Oh My God - what have they found ? 

Has someone slipped something into my luggage . Am I being framed . A knife ? Drugs? a large pair of scissors ? A gun ?  Nail clippers !So this is it - the day I have dreaded all my life . 

Everyone gets their hand luggage and moves on . I am told to open mine .

My mouth is dry - where the hell are the keys . I fumble - I sweat - I find the bunch of keys - which key is it - where are my spectacles - I find them and put them on - No no no- they are my distance ones.

Where are my reading glasses . I find them . Now where are the keys. I must not lose my ticket and passport in this  confusion. Panic sets in . 

I open the bag - my pressure has gone up - my heat beats fast . The guy asks me to empty my bag . He whispers something to a colleague . I struggle with the zip . They look at each other and at me . 

I try and act casual and take  everything out of  the bag . Its worse if a lady is checking the contents - they nit pick even more . 

I am asked to explain a small packet of Indian coins / why so many keys / a diary with a long pen - (maybe that was the tool I was going to use to hijack the plane ). Then yes- there are the nail cutters but they don't think I can do much harm with them and so they let them pass .

They find nothing -  nevertheless I am asked to hand over my Ticket and passport and the details are noted . The ticket is stamped again . 

I guess they have to do a thorough check of a certain  number of passengers daily - I am usually one of them  . 

Maybe its the look on my face and the general anxiety . It shows.............

Its over - I am through. I go aside - back goes the wallet , the mobile phones etc etc etc . into my pockets . Have I forgotten anything . 

Where in heavens name is that passport again . Its playing games with me for sure .

My ticket seems to have taken off without me and I panic - its  Ok - its in the passport and in the side pocket . Who put it there ? Not me . Who cares -  and all is well .

I have survived - the journey can begin . 

I sail through the flight - the food- the drinks - the loo - the seat - the guy beside me who keeps dozing off on my shoulder . 

I reach my destination - the whole procedure is reversed - Passport control , luggage scan , hand luggage scan .

Where is my ticket . 

I have been asked strange questions though. 

Where had I come from .

Why was I visiting this city .

When was I going back .

Where did I work . Was I travelling alone .

My bladder is bursting . My mouth is parched . 

-  then in the blink of any eye I am out and walking  free .

I am safe and have lived to travel another day .

Lady drivers are the best

 When I have nothing to do, I tend to do dangerous things- LIKE THIS.

Dear lady friends, colleagues, family and others. 

NO OFFENCE MEANT.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE.

PLEASE DON'T CUT ME OFF YOUR FB LIST.

PLEASE DONT BLOCK ME ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS.

I am just getting old and losing it so smile and give me some leeway.

AND BY THE WAY - SOME LADIES I KNOW ARE AMAZING DRIVERS !!!!

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE-"RESPECT !

However.....

Most men complain

Not of the sun,wind or rain.

Not of unrequited love

Heartaches or pain

But of WOMEN DRIVERS.

And these are their laments.

To put it simply 

They say they just can't drive

Though they think they can.

They indicate left and turn right

Or else they don't indicate at all.

They make random stops 

And never can decide 

Which lane to take.

They ride the brakes

And speed through amber lights.

They care little for zebra crossings 

Because they see no zebras.

They use the high beam

 with wild abandon

And blind oncoming drivers.

You often see them sitting pretty

When the light turns green

With lipstick and eyeliner in hand

Deeply absorbed in looking good

And don't get me wrong 

They do!

They drive too slowly 

Usually in the fast lane

And dare others to overtake them

Or drive so fast 

The speed would put Michael Schumacher 

To shame.

 

As for parking ....

OMG

When that's happening 

Give them a wide berth

Lest a collision occurs

And you get the blame.

So if your wife's already driving 

Always keep money tucked away

For the dents, scratches and crashes

And if she intends learning 

Pray - don't stand in her way.

( Literally and Figuratively speaking )

Christmas is round the corner

 Listening to Christmas carols

Somehow makes me sentimental.

But they are a staple in December. 

Jim Reeves, Daniel O'donnell

And the rest.

Today was very relaxing 

In the middle of an extended break

No suit and tie for once.

Sitting out in the morning sun 

Pottering around the little garden

While planning what to bake

How and when .

Ingredients to be sourced

And preparations to be made.

Nothing too fancy this year.

So..

Will I bake or will she?

Doing it together is what often happens 

Followed by arguments 

As to the method to use

The weight of ingredients 

And what to mix first!

Was thinking back a few decades

When people sent and received

Innumerable Christmas cards 

And of the wizzened up postman 

who did a big 'Salam' on Christmas morning

When he delivered the last few cards

And got a 'baksheeh' 

And a plate of goodies.

He was followed by the 'dhobi' 

And a few faithful helpers.

We would string up the Christmas cards

Across the mantlepiece. 

And count them too

They added to the Christmasy feeling. 

When I was a young brat,

Helping mince the peels

And decorate the tree

Was my job- partly .

Fun times.

Some of you may not know what 

a mincer is or a mantlepiece either !

It doesn't matter .

Those are memories I always cherish.

Xmas and New years 

Makes me nostalgic 

And I think of you !

And please don't let me start

On the 'Auld lang syne'

Not a big fan of it either.

I've seen people almost 'tear up' 

The holiday season

Is round the corner

Good cheer and good wishes.