Are you feeling drained or burnt out

 

Are you feeling drained or burnt out?

 

When speaking to friends and colleagues, an oft discussed topic is ‘’work”– obviously!

The conversation often veers towards ‘how much work is too much’ and what to do when one feels like ‘’throwing in the towel’ due to burn out, or because of feeling unappreciated.

In the present day and age, feeling burnt out and unappreciated is quite a common experience for many individuals, in various stages and aspects of life, and this includes work and relationships too. There are several contributory factors leading up to this emotional state, which finally lead to a sense of exhaustion and disenchantment.

Not feeling sufficiently acknowledged can significantly impact one's motivation and satisfaction. When individuals invest all their time, energy, and skills into something, they naturally desire recognition for their efforts. Without due appreciation, acknowledgement, or gratitude, it's easy to feel undervalued, leading to a diminishing sense of self-worth and an increasing belief that their contributions are taken for granted. Even worse is when someone else takes credit for the work you do or doesn’t seem to realize your value. That must be the icing on the cake.

I must clarify- and this should not come as a surprise - this does not only happen in the workplace – it happens very frequently at home as well.

In addition to that, excessive workload, poor leadership, unjustified demands, and insufficient time to complete a task, leads to burnout. Unfortunately, modern society often glorifies busyness, and places extremely high expectations on output & productivity. This constant pressure to perform at 100% forces individuals to work long hours, neglect self-care, and sacrifice personal time. Over a period, this unsustainable lifestyle depletes energy reserves, erodes motivation, and results in a state of emotional and physical exhaustion. It is then that there is a tilt in the work life balance and that has a downward spiraling effect. When this happens, it is only natural that families and organizations suffer.

 In this respect, technology hasn’t helped, as it keeps us constantly connected, thus eroding the boundaries between personal and professional life. This blurring of lines leads to a perpetual cycle of work-related stress, leaving individuals feeling overwhelmed and drained, with little time or energy for family or personal pastimes.

There is no debating the fact that everyone is accountable, and everyone must deliver, but expectations must be realistic.

And if by chance the work environment is toxic, if there are negative interactions, conflicts, politics or one upmanship, emotional exhaustion sets in, and the thrill of working is lost.

Addressing these issues requires a holistic approach, including open communication, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and cultivating a supportive network. Recognizing and valuing the efforts of individuals is crucial, in fostering a sense of appreciation and reducing burnout, ultimately leading to greater well-being and productivity.

It is here that effective leadership is key. Leaders who are genuinely concerned about the wellbeing of their team should play an active part in ensuring that all employees in their team are assisted in establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life. Leaders must do more asking, coaching, supporting, listening, clearing roadblocks, removing red tape and overall, helping make life easier. Employees must want to come to work and there are no two ways about this.

Here are things a few suggestions that could help.

 

Start with believing in yourself and all you have accomplished – positivity pays.

 Spend time with loved ones and realize that sometimes it’s fine to do nothing!

Talk matters over with someone you trust and seek advice on how to cope better.

 Indulge in hobbies or just practice mindfulness and meditation.

 Effectively manage your time by prioritizing tasks, delegating when possible, and avoiding overcommitment.

Learn to ask for help – it doesn’t reflect on your capabilities in any way.

Learn to say no and realize that it's important to recognize your limits.

 Overcommitting, and always saying ‘’ YES’ can lead to increased stress and exhaustion.

Be more selective about what task you take on.

Be realistic about goals and timelines and avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Break down your goals into achievable steps.

 Remember that you are only human, and it's okay to make mistakes or re-adjust your plans when needed.

Take regular time off- utilize your weekends, holidays, or long vacations to recharge.

Whenever possible, disconnect from work-related activities, and allow yourself to instead engage in projects or tasks that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Learn not to be too hard on yourself or your own worst critic!

Remember, preventing burnout is an ongoing effort. It's important to listen to your body and mind and prioritize your well-being to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

"Love yourself unconditionally, for you are a magnificent creation worthy of all the love and happiness in the world."

                             

Religion and me

 

Recently, out of the blue, I was asked if I was religious, and it set me thinking seriously.  

Marx described religion as the opium of the masses, as it distorts reality, and that is a controversial statement, with innumerable connotations.

Religion is not easy to define, because it means different things to different people.

The definition itself is a controversial, and extremely complicated subject in religious studies, with most scholars failing to agree on any one definition.

 

My personal belief is that while religion is important in everyone’s life, being a good human being transcends all religious boundaries. It encompasses qualities such as empathy, honesty, and integrity and benefits society. While we all know that religion provides a moral framework, being a decent human being goes well beyond religious practices. It involves treating everyone with kindness and respect, and making a positive contribution to the world, even if you feel, that what you are achieving, is just a tiny drop in the ocean of life. Ultimately, it’s about fostering harmony, love, and understanding among people, despite their religious beliefs, more than anything else.

I am a broad-minded Christian. I go to church, and I pray as well. However, I would still be able to pray in a mosque, temple, gurudwara, fire temple, synagogue, empty hall, or out in the open, in a group or all alone- makes very little difference to me. I am less about formal prayers, and more about communication with a superior being, who I believe exists.  Don’t ask me the how, when, where, or why.  Let’s not bring science into it either – it’s my belief- take it or leave it.

Does that make me religious? I don’t know.

All religious texts emphasize the importance of leading virtuous lives, and provide a foundation for adherents, to be good within the context of their religious belief. Religious communities foster a sense of togetherness and belonging while offering support, encouragement, and a shared purpose.  One of the reasons why religion is such a personal matter is that it addresses existential concerns, that are unique to everyone. People seek answers to profound questions and feel confident in communicating with someone greater than themselves- in whatever form that communication is. These questions are often deeply personal and subjective, often arising from struggles and reflections. Religious practices and rituals also offer a way to connect with something greater, in the quest to navigate life’s challenges. It’s all a matter of faith and belief, and that is a deep, personal conviction, that goes far and beyond empirical evidence and rationality.

Religion deals with concepts like life, death, morality, and the afterlife, and it is topics such as these, that can evoke strong emotions, convictions, and differences of opinion. That is one of the reasons why I will not get into a debate or argument on the topic. Each to his own!

Over the centuries, while religion has remained personal, it has also had social and communal dimensions, while having indirect control over societies, cultures, and political systems. This has fostered both unity and diversity.

However, while religion has shaped culture and human history wonderfully well, it has also been associated with extreme violence throughout the ages- more than we would like to admit. While no religions support violence, the historical and contemporary impact of religious-motivated conflicts cannot be ignored.

Statistics may not always give the correct picture, but one only needs to turn back the pages of history and be stunned by the gory details.

The Crusades, (1096- 1291) resulted in widespread bloodshed, and millions of lives were lost.

The European wars of religion, (1524- 1648) which involved Catholics, Protestants, and other Christian denominations, led to massive casualties which ran into over ten million.

The Partition of India (1947) resulted in large-scale communal violence and massacre of unimaginable proportions. Once again there were millions of lives sacrificed.

The Bosnian war, the Middle East crisis, the wars in Syria and Iraq, the Israeli- Palestinian conflict, and innumerable others, have had their fair share of deaths too.

These are just some examples, and the appalling list goes on.  It is imperative to emphasize that these unpleasant statistics in no way account for all the religiously motivated violence, as numerous other incidents, the world over, have occurred and continue to occur even today.

Mark you – this madness, this utter insanity, is unlikely to stop, and I am no prophet of doom- just seems inevitable.

Like any other ideology, religious teaching can be manipulated and misinterpreted to justify acts of violence, and peace and tolerance are tossed aside without thought. Surprisingly, it’s not only the gullible or the ignorant who fall into the ‘my religion is superior’ trap. We have all seen those dubious, fanatic, radical, extremist, religious leaders, with millions of followers whom they sway with seeming ease, into a false sense of supremacy.  

The need of the hour is to be more open about religion, as it will contribute positively to our world in several ways. Openness about religion allows for critical reflection and intellectual growth. Encouraging dialogue promotes a deeper understanding of the complexities of faith and spirituality while motivating individuals to examine their own beliefs, values, and assumptions, leading to personal growth and a more nuanced understanding of the world.

By engaging in respectful conversations about our beliefs, we can challenge stereotypes, dispel misconceptions, and promote tolerance.

Ghostly tales

 This popped up on my page this morning so sharing for those who may have missed it.

Not for thefaint-heartedd

Disclaimer

As you all know I worked in The Bishop’s school, Pune for twenty years and lived on campus, in five different flats over the years. Now, I am not implying that the school was haunted when I was there. No harm ever came to me or my family, and I was never terrified or any such thing. I also believe I am a bit of a psychic but then again …….

You can attribute this story to a very fertile & vivid imagination, poor eyesight, or just an old schoolmaster pulling the legs of his pupils.

Whatever your interpretation – I am just amusing myself, so do not read too much into it, or ask me to elaborate.

On the other hand, it could be thought-provoking- it may bring back memories – it may awaken the senses, and may make you say “Oh goodness me, so that was it.’’ Or you may just pass it off with a guffaw and a smile …………. whatever Sir!!

“Maybe all the people who say ghosts don’t exist are just afraid to admit that they do.”

- Michael Ende, ‘The Neverending Story’.

Whether you believe these stories or not, does not matter. However, innumerable people at my time maintained that the school campus had its fair share of supernatural happenings. Staff and pupils did often discuss some strange occurrences in and around the campus, but it was all passed off as a joke. I did meet a few pupils who had passed out in the sixties and seventies and even before that – all boarders – I must say that some of them told me some creepy & bizarre stories too. However, none could ever be substantiated- nor can mine for that matter. This could be the joke of 2023!

Now let me attempt to jog your memory.

Just close your eyes & think about the innumerable times you had to carry piles of chairs and put them back, under the stage, after the Friday movie. All boarders and a few day scholars. How did you feel? Eerie? Creepy? Felt someone was staring at you from a dark recess? Heard a strange noise?

What about that narrow, dingy passage near the infirmary and past grade 9 A and B? Most boys avoided it after dark! I wonder why? I did too and so did the school support staff!

What about when you were sent to get the Logbook from the MOD’s table after dinner, and the area was unlighted and gloomy– and then you had to pass the Billiard room? Somehow the wind howled louder around that building, didn’t it? Going home after filling in the MOD logbook after dinner, I often looked over my shoulder as I felt someone was following me. I was once practicing billiards all alone – I could have sworn I saw a shadow leaning over the table at the opposite end. It happened in a split second, but I suddenly felt cold – never practiced alone ever again.

Mark my words- I am not using the word haunted, because haunted somehow has evil connotations for me - let me just reiterate – I was in Bishops for 20 years, and yes, we did feel peculiar at times. However, there were no ghastly apparitions, no phantoms, or specters but I think I know what I saw, heard, and felt and the term I will use is ‘spooky’. I could be wrong, and it could be my imagination but read on if you care.

Am going to divide this article into a few parts, as this is a story with no beginning or end – not even a middle for that matter.

The Lunn block terrace

As a young family back in the early 80s, we often slept on the terrace of Lunn block, during the summer vacation, as I was the dormitory in charge and lived on the second floor just beside the dormitory. It was cool, fresh, and mosquito free on the terrace, and sleeping under the starlit sky was exhilarating. I owned a ‘Bush Two in one radio cum tape recorder’, so there was music too.

The cool breeze ensured a good night’s sleep. We had a Pomeranian as a pet, and often she would bark at night, and charge about in a frenzy but we thought nothing of it.

At first, we would scold her for disturbing us, but one night is extremely vivid in my memory. It was a cloudy night and very still. We awoke with a start, to the dog barking very differently, and looked around to try and see what had provoked her. She seemed to be scrutinizing the corner of the terrace near and under the water tank- barking ferociously, backing off, and yelping at the same time. I tried to call her back, in vain. She then suddenly charged toward the terrace door and began jumping up in the air as if to catch something. I stood up, picked up a hockey stick I kept nearby, but saw nothing. Then the unexpected happened – the dog made one last lunge, barked uncontrollably, and then, bawling, with her tail tucked between her legs, she ran backward, towards our beds, and sat down, crying out loud. She refused to budge, despite my coaxing. We folded up the bedding and went downstairs immediately & never slept on the terrace thereafter. When I told the watchman about it, he said it was probably a monkey. I still do not know what to believe and yes it could have been a monkey for sure!

The Simba dormitory

This was another place where something rather bizarre once took place. I was the dormitory in charge and lived on the second floor just beside the dormitory.

We returned rather late from a party. To keep the rather skillful boarders inside, and make sure that they did not try and slip out for a midnight meal, we had started locking the three gates – at the entrance to the dorm; just before you descended the steps, and then downstairs at the entrance to the building. Not sure if they had made duplicate keys, as some were quite devious and were up to all the tricks.

Anyway, as we entered the building, we clearly heard footsteps going up the steps ahead of us. At first, I thought it was an echo but was wrong. I called out “Who’s there’. There was no reply.

Every time we stopped; the footsteps stopped as well. This happened twice or thrice. I thought I heard someone coughing but could not be sure. We went till the top – all sixty-five steps carrying our two young daughters. As we reached the gate at the top, footsteps were heard one last time and then fell silent. I opened the gate to the top floor gingerly, and yes, I think I was trembling. The dormitory was locked, so no one could have been out by any chance. Who was on the steps ahead of us and where did that person go? The door to the terrace was locked hence anyone going up there was out of the question. The person had vanished into thin air. The mystery baffled me. I asked some boarders the next morning, but they all said they were asleep.

The Cambridge dormitory

This dormitory with its creaking staircase, cobwebs, and loose floorboards had its own share of alien footfalls. Mr. Derek Beaman, whom we all remember fondly, was no more, and his quarters in Cambridge block and the entire top floor remained locked up ever since he had passed. We had stopped using the dormitory for over a year or so, hence it was a trifle dark & rather dilapidated. One dim light at the entrance was switched on daily, after dinner, by the watchman.

We stayed in the staff quarters in Simba Block, and could almost look into his flat through the window which was parallel to ours

On a few evenings, we thought we heard the distinct sound of a vessel being washed and put down/ at times dropped – then there was the sound of a tap being opened and water flowing ----------- things that Mr. Beaman did regularly at about the same time, after the boarders’ s supper, while he stayed there. What were those noises and who was making them? Were we imagining? The building was empty. The strange sounds baffled us. We never fathomed them out .

Late one night

Came home past midnight, all four of us on our scooter- driving up from East Street towards the roundabout outside Bishops, past the large palatial Talera bungalow on the left. We could either go straight past the crossing and enter through the wicket gate near the school kitchen, or go right, and enter through the wicket gate near the office. As we approached the small roundabout, we saw something freakish. Standing in the middle of the road which went towards the kitchen gate/ Racecourse, was a very tall fair woman, in a white knee-length dress, carrying a large blue suitcase in her right hand. It seemed light and empty. Her left hand was up - palm facing outwards as if she wanted to stop oncoming traffic and request a lift. I saw her from about twenty meters and my heart skipped a beat or two. Needless to say, I accelerated, turned right, and sped toward the office gate from where I entered the campus. Yes, my wife saw her too.

On making inquiries the next day, I was told by the school support staff that a similar figure was seen on that road once or twice a year and in the vicinity of the army house at the crossing. There is a story about her, they said- it was not a very pleasant one so I will not repeat it here. That sighting was eerie, and it played on my mind every time we came home late at night. Thankfully, we never saw her again. Were we imagining?

The principal’s bungalow

Returning home after a movie one night, and entering on my scooter from the office gate, we saw the watchman sitting at the gate to the principal’s bungalow. He was facing the office gate. About ten feet behind him, lying on his stomach and peering into the bungalow was a figure of a man- his face almost touching the bungalow steps. I rode passed on my scooter but thought it so strange. So, I parked outside the billiard room, reached the family upstairs in Simba block, and walked back to check. The watchman, when asked as to whom I had seen a few minutes ago, feigned complete ignorance, and said that he had no idea. He swore he had not seen or heard anybody. To his credit, he was wide awake and sober.

The wedding

We returned from a relative’s wedding, and it must have been past one am. We were about to go to sleep on the Simba dorm terrace – summertime as usual. Had barely closed the terrace door, when we heard a female voice, distinctly calling out my wife’s name. At first, we thought it was her mother, who was visiting us at the time. When the call was repeated for the third time, I opened the terrace door & went down- I opened the door to our flat and went in. All was completely silent, and no relatives were awake. I then went downstairs to see if there was anyone outside. As expected, there was no one. Who called out and why, we will never know.

The Face on the cupboard

One night, there was a minor fire in one of the residential master’s flats – they resided on the first floor of the Junior school building – it may have been around midnight. I will make this short – I rushed to help & together we managed to extinguish the fire which had begun when a large candle had fallen onto a cushion. When we cleared up the mess in the room, we were shocked when we looked at the cupboard – etched on the front, and very clear, was the face of an old man or woman (my memory fails me here) . “The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.”

I can tell you who the face resembles if ever you want to know. I presume the family discarded that cupboard the next day!

The Piano

There was a story of the sound of a piano being played in the principal’s bungalow late at night, and this was from a very reliable source. I once asked the principal about the supposed ‘music at midnight’, but he just guffawed in his typical style and said ‘Rubbish- people make up all these stories’. I dare not tell him who told me! She would have been in serious trouble.

I heard several other stories from visiting Bishopites over the years – some eerie and others which made me think and believe that I was not going off my head.

Coming to think of it, I am writing this story here in Dubai – and even if it ever did, all this supposedly happened over twenty years ago – was it just a frightening dream?)

Frankly, I am not sure. Am I an oneironaut?

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We need more teachers

 Education is the cornerstone of societal development and thus plays a crucial role in shaping the future of our world. TEACHERS, as the backbone of the education system, are responsible for imparting knowledge, instilling the right values, and above all, nurturing young minds. 

“Teaching is the essential profession, the one that makes all other professions possible."

However, one does not need to be a rocket scientist or a nuclear physicist, to see that there is a significant shortage of qualified teachers in many parts of the world. The fact there is a Global education gap is undeniable, and to add to that, there are still millions of children worldwide who do not have access to quality education. Quite a pickle for the world to be in indeed. 

What surprises me and I am sure many other discerning individuals as well, is the unpleasant fact that most Governments do not seem to be comprehending the looming crisis, or if they are, they are dragging their feet, and for me, that defies logic.

According to the World Economic Forum's- Global Risks Report 2023, the world's top current risks are energy, food, inflation, and the overall cost of living crisis. I suggest they add “shortage of teachers” to that ominous list. 

This raises a few extremely pertinent questions.

What is the plan going forward to address this shortfall? 

Why is teaching not a preferred vocation? 

What’s the solution?  

On World Teachers’ Day, the Director-general of UNESCO called on all governments around the world to step up their support for teachers, warning that the profession is struggling to retain its workforce and attract new talent. Worldwide, 69 million teachers are needed to reach universal basic education by 2030. The largest deficit is in Asia & sub-Saharan Africa. Lack of direct government support, inadequate training, unattractive working conditions, and insufficient funding, all undermine this noble profession and aggravate the existing global learning crisis. Factors such as low salaries, limited career progression, and excessive workload are contributory forces that are driving people away from teaching. 

Don’t get me wrong – Teaching is still very respected. In fact, there is no nobler profession. In countries like Finland, Switzerland, Norway, and Japan it is said that teachers are more trusted than their army. However, that thought needs to fan out- the quicker, the better. 

As societies evolve, and the world zooms forward, everything has become more complex. The demand for specialized knowledge and skills has increased manifold, and the education landscape is in a period of change.

 The emergence of umpteen new technologies, evolving curriculum requirements, advanced research in pedagogy, the need for personalized instructions and individual attention, and catering to the learning styles of pupils, have all put more pressure on teachers. With the emergence of AI, there are additional responsibilities and teachers must keep pace. Teachers who trained yesterday are being called upon to upskill, to prepare students of today, on how to face tomorrow, and no one has a clue what that tomorrow will look like!

I don’t want to sound like a prophet of doom, but, with fewer and fewer people entering the teaching profession, the quality will take a beating in the very near future. That in turn will surely impact school leadership as well. It is a downward spiral that must be arrested for the common good.

Here are two thoughts that come to mind. 

Quite a few countries have initiated compulsory national service or military training, lasting a year or two, and that is a great idea that has proved to be successful. Let’s look at why countries have made this service mandatory.

Mandatory national service fosters unity and brings people from diverse backgrounds together. Compulsory service saves the government money and provides benefits to all citizens. Performing national service helps young people mature, build character, master certain skills, and serve as a bridge to adulthood.

The most populous country in the world – India, has the National cadet corps which was established in 1948. Look at what the NCC is all about 

Cadets in the NCC develop qualities of character, courage, commandership, discipline, leadership, secular outlook, the spirit of adventure and sportsmanship, and the ideals of selfless service among the youth to make them useful citizens in the future. The NCC also creates a human resource of organized, trained, and motivated youth, to provide leadership in all walks of life, including the Armed Forces, and be always available for the service of the nation.

Why can we not think of a period of compulsory teaching service? It will do all the above and more.  

It will build character, cultivate social responsibility, and teach needed skillsets, manners, and communication. It will foster empathy and understanding while teaching adaptability, respect, positivity, accountability, and the like. By serving as teachers for a period, individuals will become active participants in the betterment of society and will be contributing to shaping the next generation. They will also get to witness the transformative power of education, firsthand.

 I can think of no better way for the youth to serve their nation – a win-win situation for all.

 Not everyone can be a great teacher, and that is a known fact. However, there are many others who make wonderful teachers, and they never knew they had it in them. Thus, there is every likelihood of more people entering the profession.

There is a well-known saying – “If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people.”

Haircuts- Gents only

 

 

This post is for GENTS only – LADIES please ignore as it will NOT interest you.

 

Well, I have written about haircuts before, but this is slightly different. First and foremost, my hair and nails grow very fast, and I am not sure if that is good or bad. Not Googling it either, because one never knows what Google will throw up!

 Last evening my hair was irritating me – it happens when my hair reaches a particular length. Hence, I decided to go and have my haircut. I have found a nice, clean saloon, quite close to my house. No, it is not 5 star or anything, but the last few times the guy there gave me a nice haircut, so I went back again.

It was already a little past 8.45 pm and hence quite uncharacteristic of me, as I am usually an ‘early morning hair cut person’. Anyway, let me get on with my story. I have this horrible habit of digressing at times.

 Now, whenever I visit this saloon, I am always greeted warmly by the manager and his assistant, a smart young man, who always cuts my hair and does a brilliant job – very much to my satisfaction.  I am offered tea and biscuits and they always enquire about the family. Both are very genial, always smiling, and eager to please.  

Yesterday, when I walked into the saloon, something was a trifle different. The shop seemed to have been rearranged and I was greeted by a stranger who himself looked like an actor in a crime thriller. When I enquired about the manager and the man who usually cuts my hair, I was told that they were out and would return soon. This stranger offered to cut my hair, but I told him that I would prefer to wait. Something about him was shifty. Did I see him grimace when I refused his offer?

Anyway, he grudgingly agreed, and went about his business, pottering about the shop, rearranging items meticulously on the counter& counting the notes and coins in the safe box- all which seemed rather unnecessary.  Meanwhile, I picked up a magazine and feigned browsing through it, while keeping a close eye on him. His whole manner and unnecessary fiddling about with the items on the counter was weird. This man was beginning to worry me, and I thought of walking out. My usual calm disposition and self-assurance seemed to have dropped a notch or two for no concrete reason.

Was my heart beating faster? Was I getting a panic attack? Was I overreacting?

Let me tell you what he looked like, and leave you to judge, as to whether I was being unnecessarily distrustful & paranoid.  His was stocky, and one could tell that he worked out for sure. His black shirt and jeans had seen better days. His eyes were blood shot, and he had a moustache which was badly in need a trim. He needed a shave as well.  There was something ruthless about his whole persona that I could not fathom. He wore a flashy gold watch to match the two gold chains around his neck. He had two mobile phones and made and received calls on both in a span of fifteen minutes. He was a busy man indeed. And oh yes, lest I forget to mention it – there was a stud in his ear – it looked like a diamond. Cover the bottom half of his face with a large black mask and what have you?

Meanwhile my mind went into overdrive. Could this chap have done away with the owner, threatened the other workers, made them leave and then taken over the shop by force? Could this have happened that evening itself and was I the first customer after the coup, so to say? Was he a barber in the first place? Did he know how to cut hair? Was mine going to be the ‘first haircut he gave in his new avatar? There were so many unanswered questions.

Suddenly, I was awoken from my reverie, by him telling me that the manager and his assistant would not be back for an hour or so, and hence he would be cutting my hair. I don’t know whether he was a hypnotist or not, but I got up, sat down on the proffered chair without protesting any further, and prepared myself to be sacrificed! So, this was how they did it. I had read so many stories in the past and they all seemed to be finally catching up with me.

I was tense and ready to jump and bolt in case he made any sudden moves or tried to strangulate me.

For some strange reason, he began by putting a new blade into the razor! I pretended not to notice and instead, stared blankly at the programme on the television set, which I was sure he had switched on to distract me. It seemed to be some sort of a murder mystery on Netflix, and that did nothing to calm my jarring nerves. However, my heart skipped a beat or two when I saw him place the razor on the table near at hand. The razor was only needed at the end, wasn’t it?

My fertile imagination immediately went into overdrive and the whole scene flashed before my eyes in a matter of seconds.

So, this was it – the door had undoubtedly been locked from within. He had obviously done this craftily, while I was reading the magazine. How did I miss it?  He was not a barber by any length of imagination. The lights would soon be switched off. I would be threatened with the razor blade. My mobile and purse would then be snatched. I would be tied up.  He would then walk out nonchalantly after threatening me not to report the matter, or else face dire consequences for my indiscretion. This was not his shop &he would never be seen in the area again.

There was a new protagonist for sure………

He then began cutting my hair. Within the first few minutes I felt foolish for my scepticism and presumptuous suspicions. His scissors flew over my head in experienced hands while he engaged me in an interesting conversation on cricket and football. Over the span of the next fifteen or twenty minutes, he washed my hair, blow dried it, used scissors, clippers, shears and a variety of razors and combs. He then used the blow drier again and followed it up an amazing head massage. He then brought out two different mirrors to show me the back of my head. All this while he told me about his family his school going children back in Delhi and how he had landed in Dubai a few hours ago and had come straight to the shop.

 I felt like a new man.   A slightly foolish new man, to be more precise, but a man in control of his life once again.

While I was making the payment, the door opened, and two familiar faces walked in- the manager and the one who usually cuts my hair.

They then apologised for being away & officially introduced me to the ‘Owner of the business’ the one who had just given me a terrific haircut.  

Appearances are often so misleading.

 God bless you Suresh Bhai and thank you!

Those were the days

 We managed without Internet, computers,  mobile phones, Google,  ChatGPT and much  much more.

We played in the boiling heat, biting cold and pouring rain. 

We were never struck by lightning, when standing under trees while it rained, and stormed.

We completed our homework, and found time to play outside with friends.

We fought, we made up, we fell, we got hurt, we healed and there were physical but no emotional scars.

We were never taken to counsellors and never had time to feel depressed.

We didn't complain to parents about our teachers .

We drank water from anywhere and everywhere- even garden hoses.

Fruit on trees, fruit fallen from trees,  fruit eaten by birds - we ate them all.

Measles,  chicken pox, fevers, colds, influenza came and went.

We wrote love letters by the dozen and got over heartbreaks in a heartbeat. 

We went to places of worship regularly. 

Parents refused to let us stay home from school and fake excuses letters were unheard of.

We used second hand text books and often covered them with news paper.

Yes we used postcards, inlands, aerograms and sent money orders while cramming in a few lines at the very bottom of the form.

We stood in line and waited patiently to make or receive a trunk call.

We also stood in line for vaccinations and inoculations and there was no such things as disposable needles.

We never checked for expirary dates on food packaging.

We flew kites, played marbles, hop skotch,  kick the can, I spy, and hide and seek. Oh yes- dark room too! 

Roadside eateries were packed and good hygiene was definitely not a strong point of the owners.

There is so much more.....

And here we are - many decades later and none the worse for it. 

Life was simple and fun.

Be stubborn

 Be stubborn in the face of the adversary

And take pride

In letting the uninitiated 

Get accustomed to the singing of your untamed spirit.

Refuse to surrender

Or bow before insolent might.

Let the unwavering flame within you 

Continue to burn as brightly as you desire

And never let the winds of doubt 

Extinguish it. 

Be stubborn and resolute in your pursuits, 

And let no one sway your resolve.

Better to be the realist who says the world is terrible, 

Then the naïve optimist 

who says the world is wonderful 

while turning a blind eye to the abounding falsity. 

Let not the naysayers erode your will, 

But instead, let their words fuel your fire.

Your beliefs are the roots

That anchor your character

The compass that points you in the right direction 

And guides your journey through life. 

So, march on, steadfast, in pursuit of greatness,

 And let no setback dampen your spirit's flame.

Let the world see your greatness 

And never sell yourself short