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Monday, 29 July 2019

Shopping


I am beginning to think that super markets and hypermarkets are secretly scheming organizations to con the poor common person. They are also somehow arm in arm while conspiring with wives.

Now please do not get me wrong – everything under one roof, extremely convenient, very clean, air-conditioned and the like. Rows and rows of well stocked items – prices marked clearly and many of the items ON SALE! You can save money too!

However, let me start at the beginning. Now this is not a one off if not I would not be keying this in – this has become some sort of a routine.

Therefore, the Mrs. and I enter to buy one loaf of bread and possibly some milk. At least, that is what I am told.

Why we just never sent for it from the grocery downstairs never occurred to me – dim wit that I am.

As a matter of habit ,  I pick up a basket  although I could actually manage without one – after all its just two items or maybe one or two more and we will be out in a jiffy (in my dreams).

It’s two loaves finally – brown bread and whole wheat and incidentally I hate both – I am a ‘white bread’ man! A few rolls are also bought for good measure in case the bread runs out or we have guests. Thinking of how dry the bread looks I pick up some butter and spreadable cheese for good measure. At least I will not choke!

Choosing milk has become somewhat a dilemma for many I guess -  there is Whole Milk, Full fat milk, Low fat Milk, Skimmed Milk, Organic Milk, Lactose-Free Milk, Cow milk, camel milk etc.  Then there are different companies and different sizes of bottles. Last but not the least are the manufacturing and expiry dates. By the time we are done with choosing the milk, we could have reared a cow or a camel for that matter

Just beside the milk are the custards for which I have an affinity so a few custards are chosen  and put into the basket as well – need I add there are many varieties but I know what I want so it is a no brainer.  A small ice cream won’t do us any harm although I have sworn to cut down – so a smallish ice cream it is .

Rows and rows of vegetables beckon and the moment we stop there, I know the routine – I trudge all the way back to the entrance – put down the basket, pull out a trolley and transfer the contents to it. I know fully well this is not going to be a sprint so I prepare for a marathon.

Supermarket trolleys often have a life of their own and I invariably pick one that is stubborn and wants to go in some vague direction. Why they do not oil the wheels beats me. So, while I am pushing south the trolley is moving South east and I am cursing – so I go back and change the trolley.

By the time, I get back to the vegetable area I am greeted with an exasperated look on the wife’s face as she stands with both hands full of vegetables, which I then go to have weighed. Am I slowing down or what ?

 Have you ever seen the young women who operate these weighing areas? They are talking to each other, keying in codes, sticking on price labels, putting vegetables into plastic bags and smiling. It is all one fluid motion and they do not miss a beat- pure genius.

Vegetables, are then followed by fruit and the trip to weigh the same is repeated.

“While we are about it, we may as well pick up a few more things rather than have to make another trip ”  is a phrase most husbands are familiar with. The ‘ few more ’ are pulses, oil, condiments , bathing accessories , shampoos , creams , biscuits , savory items ,   cat food , cleaning  liquids  , brushes , mops , disinfectant  ,items to  soften ,   to shine, to remove stains  and polish with – this list can go on .

While trying to adjust the items into the, ‘by now over flowing trolley’, you have to side step the person who goes around in the cleaning vehicle, mopping up the area. Somehow, I have always fancied his job. It is so cool and stress free!

How can one visit a super/ hypermarket and not buy meat, fish or chicken, or all three? That done , we head for the teller.( That reminds me – I must cut down on red meat )

By now, the poor loaves of bread are squashed out of shape by now and so I retrieve them & go and change them for fresh ones! I feel guilty but it is no fun eating squashed bread.

The queues are long- I try, and gauge as to which one is moving the fastest. Murphy’s Law often beats me now and the queue I choose seems to go on forever. I look around – there are three gleaming counters, which say 10 items or less  – no one there – can’t they help? No, they will not.  

 

And then I am number two in the line and just when I imagine myself reading the newspapers at home while sipping hot tea ,  things come to a standstill as the lady before me has an item which she either has not had weighed or which does not scan properly . She seems in no hurry and begins reading the magazine on the stand before her. Now the cashier has to call the supervisor so she waves and calls and at times switches on a red light, which blinks.

That sorted, the woman attempts to pay. It is just luck or is the whole world against me? Her card does not work, or else she has probably forgotten the pin. She rummages around for another card while simultaneously trying to pack her items into plastic bags.

Meanwhile I keep edging my items closer to the cashier to quicken the process. Back to the woman and the plastic bags – most of which seem glued together and refuse to open. She struggles until the friendly cashier assists her while I grind my teeth in exasperation.

I always keep an eye on the person behind me because on more than one occasion I have had the back of my ankles banged with a trolley pushed by either an incorrigible child or a silly adult on his or her phone . It is painful indeed and a casual sorry does not make it any better

The contents of my trolley are now on the counter, I look around, and there is no signs of the wife. I am confused, not knowing whether to push my items forward, keep an eye on the woman billing me, push the trolley forward, be careful of my ankles  or start packing the billed items.  I too hope my card works and that I remember the pin! That can be embarrassing.

Then the Mrs. arrives with some more items, yes you guessed it right – some of which need to be weighed. By now the people behind us are getting fed up and some have changed queues.

Finally, it is all done and dusted. Bill paid - items in the trolley. The receipt is so long that the cashier puts in about five folds while handing it to me. She says, ‘please shop again’ and I cringe .

I have no will to check  the bill  and feel  rather worn out . I then realize that I wanted another newspaper but going back was like a nightmare – I could not risk it, lest my wife decided she needed a few more items.

Planning to purchase bread and milk from a hypermarket anyone?

Think again!

Those are truly nasty items indeed.

Shopping


I am beginning to think that super markets and hypermarkets are secretly scheming organizations to con the poor common person. They are also somehow arm in arm while conspiring with wives.

Now please do not get me wrong – everything under one roof, extremely convenient, very clean, air-conditioned and the like. Rows and rows of well stocked items – prices marked clearly and many of the items ON SALE! You can save money too!

However, let me start at the beginning. Now this is not a one off if not I would not be keying this in – this has become some sort of a routine.

Therefore, the Mrs. and I enter to buy one loaf of bread and possibly some milk. At least, that is what I am told.

Why we just never sent for it from the grocery downstairs never occurred to me – dim wit that I am.

As a matter of habit ,  I pick up a basket  although I could actually manage without one – after all its just two items or maybe one or two more and we will be out in a jiffy (in my dreams).

It’s two loaves finally – brown bread and whole wheat and incidentally I hate both – I am a ‘white bread’ man! A few rolls are also bought for good measure in case the bread runs out or we have guests. Thinking of how dry the bread looks I pick up some butter and spreadable cheese for good measure. At least I will not choke!

Choosing milk has become somewhat a dilemma for many I guess -  there is Whole Milk, Full fat milk, Low fat Milk, Skimmed Milk, Organic Milk, Lactose-Free Milk, Cow milk, camel milk etc.  Then there are different companies and different sizes of bottles. Last but not the least are the manufacturing and expiry dates. By the time we are done with choosing the milk, we could have reared a cow or a camel for that matter

Just beside the milk are the custards for which I have an affinity so a few custards are chosen  and put into the basket as well – need I add there are many varieties but I know what I want so it is a no brainer.  A small ice cream won’t do us any harm although I have sworn to cut down – so a smallish ice cream it is .

Rows and rows of vegetables beckon and the moment we stop there, I know the routine – I trudge all the way back to the entrance – put down the basket, pull out a trolley and transfer the contents to it. I know fully well this is not going to be a sprint so I prepare for a marathon.

Supermarket trolleys often have a life of their own and I invariably pick one that is stubborn and wants to go in some vague direction. Why they do not oil the wheels beats me. So, while I am pushing south the trolley is moving South east and I am cursing – so I go back and change the trolley.

By the time, I get back to the vegetable area I am greeted with an exasperated look on the wife’s face as she stands with both hands full of vegetables, which I then go to have weighed. Am I slowing down or what ?

 Have you ever seen the young women who operate these weighing areas? They are talking to each other, keying in codes, sticking on price labels, putting vegetables into plastic bags and smiling. It is all one fluid motion and they do not miss a beat- pure genius.

Vegetables, are then followed by fruit and the trip to weigh the same is repeated.

“While we are about it, we may as well pick up a few more things rather than have to make another trip ”  is a phrase most husbands are familiar with. The ‘ few more ’ are pulses, oil, condiments , bathing accessories , shampoos , creams , biscuits , savory items ,   cat food , cleaning  liquids  , brushes , mops , disinfectant  ,items to  soften ,   to shine, to remove stains  and polish with – this list can go on .

While trying to adjust the items into the, ‘by now over flowing trolley’, you have to side step the person who goes around in the cleaning vehicle, mopping up the area. Somehow, I have always fancied his job. It is so cool and stress free!

How can one visit a super/ hypermarket and not buy meat, fish or chicken, or all three? That done , we head for the teller.( That reminds me – I must cut down on red meat )

By now, the poor loaves of bread are squashed out of shape by now and so I retrieve them & go and change them for fresh ones! I feel guilty but it is no fun eating squashed bread.

The queues are long- I try, and gauge as to which one is moving the fastest. Murphy’s Law often beats me now and the queue I choose seems to go on forever. I look around – there are three gleaming counters, which say 10 items or less  – no one there – can’t they help? No, they will not.  

 

And then I am number two in the line and just when I imagine myself reading the newspapers at home while sipping hot tea ,  things come to a standstill as the lady before me has an item which she either has not had weighed or which does not scan properly . She seems in no hurry and begins reading the magazine on the stand before her. Now the cashier has to call the supervisor so she waves and calls and at times switches on a red light, which blinks.

That sorted, the woman attempts to pay. It is just luck or is the whole world against me? Her card does not work, or else she has probably forgotten the pin. She rummages around for another card while simultaneously trying to pack her items into plastic bags.

Meanwhile I keep edging my items closer to the cashier to quicken the process. Back to the woman and the plastic bags – most of which seem glued together and refuse to open. She struggles until the friendly cashier assists her while I grind my teeth in exasperation.

I always keep an eye on the person behind me because on more than one occasion I have had the back of my ankles banged with a trolley pushed by either an incorrigible child or a silly adult on his or her phone . It is painful indeed and a casual sorry does not make it any better

The contents of my trolley are now on the counter, I look around, and there is no signs of the wife. I am confused, not knowing whether to push my items forward, keep an eye on the woman billing me, push the trolley forward, be careful of my ankles  or start packing the billed items.  I too hope my card works and that I remember the pin! That can be embarrassing.

Then the Mrs. arrives with some more items, yes you guessed it right – some of which need to be weighed. By now the people behind us are getting fed up and some have changed queues.

Finally, it is all done and dusted. Bill paid - items in the trolley. The receipt is so long that the cashier puts in about five folds while handing it to me. She says, ‘please shop again’ and I cringe .

I have no will to check  the bill  and feel  rather worn out . I then realize that I wanted another newspaper but going back was like a nightmare – I could not risk it, lest my wife decided she needed a few more items.

Planning to purchase bread and milk from a hypermarket anyone?

Think again!

Those are truly nasty items indeed.

An alumni association

Guzder
Often , over the years, I have been asked for advice for a Bishops Alumni Association - the need for one if any etc .
Well I don't profess to be an authority on the subject but herewith my personal views.
1. Any alumni association has to begin with the blessings of the school/ the Principal / The Governing body - there is no other way . The registration of the association must be done by the school authorities .
2. It must originate from the school and all dealings must... be school centric . The welfare of the school and the well being of its pupils has to be the key priority of the association .
3. The purpose must be to keep the old pupils / staff in touch with each other and their alma mater and to let them know what is happening in school / functions / occasions for celebration etc . It can also , from time to time , think of raising funds for special school projects / educational scholorships etc
4 All monetary transactions must be through the school .
5. It should be open to all ex pupils who have either passed out from the school or completed a minimum number of years in the school .
6. It cannot be the perogative of a particular batch / group of pupils to run the association . All meetings must be formal occasions and held on the school campus .
7. All Alumni associations usually suggest the sale of commemorative Mugs, Pens , Jack , plates . The procurement of such items must be done by the school and the sale must be from within the school ONLY . No one else should use the school logo except the school . All accounts must be audited as per rules .
8. Free and fair elections will need to be planned and held every year/ 2 years to elect office bearers Important for all to note that these posts will be honarary and without power as such . There will be no interference in school administration . It is basically to see to the affairs of the association and help drive it forward / coordinate the activities for the year along with the school management . A few mambers may be nominated by the school as well .
9. There should be an alumni advisory board as decided by the school .
10 There are any number of Alumni charters / Lists of rules and regulations online and it is a good idea to go throgh the details of some outstanding old institutions to get an idea of what the do's and dont's are . No point in reinventing the wheel
11. Maybe the school could invite a group of about 6- 8 ex pupils / staff to draft a charter for the same . This can always be ameneded from time to time
12 Last but not the least , the Alumni association must unite and not divide . It must be free from politics . petty squabbles and power games . The start should be slow and well thought out so that the foundation is strong enough to last another 150 years .
13 An Alumni association is a good idea and if run in the correct spirit , will definitely add value to an amazing institution like Bishops

An alumni association

Guzder
Often , over the years, I have been asked for advice for a Bishops Alumni Association - the need for one if any etc .
Well I don't profess to be an authority on the subject but herewith my personal views.
1. Any alumni association has to begin with the blessings of the school/ the Principal / The Governing body - there is no other way . The registration of the association must be done by the school authorities .
2. It must originate from the school and all dealings must... be school centric . The welfare of the school and the well being of its pupils has to be the key priority of the association .
3. The purpose must be to keep the old pupils / staff in touch with each other and their alma mater and to let them know what is happening in school / functions / occasions for celebration etc . It can also , from time to time , think of raising funds for special school projects / educational scholorships etc
4 All monetary transactions must be through the school .
5. It should be open to all ex pupils who have either passed out from the school or completed a minimum number of years in the school .
6. It cannot be the perogative of a particular batch / group of pupils to run the association . All meetings must be formal occasions and held on the school campus .
7. All Alumni associations usually suggest the sale of commemorative Mugs, Pens , Jack , plates . The procurement of such items must be done by the school and the sale must be from within the school ONLY . No one else should use the school logo except the school . All accounts must be audited as per rules .
8. Free and fair elections will need to be planned and held every year/ 2 years to elect office bearers Important for all to note that these posts will be honarary and without power as such . There will be no interference in school administration . It is basically to see to the affairs of the association and help drive it forward / coordinate the activities for the year along with the school management . A few mambers may be nominated by the school as well .
9. There should be an alumni advisory board as decided by the school .
10 There are any number of Alumni charters / Lists of rules and regulations online and it is a good idea to go throgh the details of some outstanding old institutions to get an idea of what the do's and dont's are . No point in reinventing the wheel
11. Maybe the school could invite a group of about 6- 8 ex pupils / staff to draft a charter for the same . This can always be ameneded from time to time
12 Last but not the least , the Alumni association must unite and not divide . It must be free from politics . petty squabbles and power games . The start should be slow and well thought out so that the foundation is strong enough to last another 150 years .
13 An Alumni association is a good idea and if run in the correct spirit , will definitely add value to an amazing institution like Bishops

Sunday, 28 July 2019

The support staff at Bishops

Bishops support staff- 1981- 2001.  This may interest the boarders more than the day scholars as they had more interaction with the support staff but nevertheless here goes. All the support staff ( we called them servants way back then ) lived on campus – behind the Junior school block. They were the backbone of the school and worked oh so hard. Mr Roberts looked after them as well and they were all treated as family by everyone on campus. They were part and parcel of every function – knew all the boarders by name – knew a number of famous day scholars too and enjoyed the extra cash they were able to make (by way of tips) apart from their salaries. Ram Das - Ram Das definitely comes to mind first. He was a cleaner ( sweeper back then ) . Tall , straight back, salt and pepper all back hairstyle and very clean- in face good looking as well. One could see him with his broom from early in the morning sweeping the campus – at one time I think he was the only one ! Must have been a big job when you think of how large the campus was !. He always had a ready smile and gave a big salam – polite to the core . He could be seen sweeping in the morning – after the tea break at 11 , after lunch and after evening tea as well. However his strengths were Hockey and Volleyball- he enjoyed both. Come the hockey season and he was out on the field at 4 pm waiting for the team to come out for practice. Legend has it that he played for Mahrashtra seniors in the nationals for 2 years and for Pune for a number of years. To say he was a whiz with the stick would be putting it mildly – he literally ran circles round anyone with the ball and stick and could take on two three or four at a time .His back flick was legendry and he could score from almost anywhere. He had a wife and three sons- all tall as well . He loved a good game of Volley ball as well and was out every evening – we had some terrific games together and he was a jolly good sport. His serves and smashes were a sight to behold. Yashwant – Yashwant was the watchman – He was energetic and friendly and always smiling . He was the first one I met when I arrived in Bishops in 1981 and he took me up to the Cambridge dorm thinking I was a senior pupil. I reminded him of the story years later when I became Headmaster and he blushed ! Yashwant had a stick at night which he banged a few times behind the Principals bungalow- then he probably slept till morning near the lunch shed – he was on duty all day as well ! He was one of those who cycled off to Main Street to buy food for the boarders at night and earn a tip . Like the others he carried up trunks/ suitcases/ bags to the dormitories on the first day of school to earn some extra money .He carried the tiffins for Mr Pope Girdahari- Girdhari was a dorm bearer and also incharge of the infirmary. I remember the first thing that struck me about him was his long hair which he had till I left 20 years later – albeit it thinned over the years . He struck me as being a trifle lazy as well. However the infirmary duty was done sincerely – from the morning milk and breakfast till the dinner at night , he was up and down with a large tiffin carrier catering to the boys who were ill .Not sure if they too used him to buy food at night hope not as they were all on various diets ! I am not sure but I think he carried tiffins for the Dmontes and the Aviets. Shivaram- Shivaram was short and dumpy and looked like a brother of Girdhari but they were not related. He was a dorm bearer as well ie he had to clean a dormitory . He often doubled up as night watchman when the watchman was absent .He carried tiffins for the residential staff- mine as well and his family survived on all the food from the kitchen and that left over from the staff tiffins. He also took my daughters to St Mary’s across the road . He could often be seen soaked to the bone durng the rainy season and he did not seem to mind it . Members of staff often sent him to Main street for purchases and he took umpteen trips and surely walked miles – I never saw him on a cycle. I once asked him why he did not combine trips to the market and he said he liked to walk down the road and be away from home !( Probably had a wife that nagged ) He did my tiffin duty as well. Dass – Dass was the office peon – tall with a large smile and an all back hair style . He was quite a stylish guy on the quiet and his hair was oiled and wavy ! He worked in the office and was often seen getting shouted at by Mr Roberts – I guess that was the only one he feared in school . He was also incharge of bathing Mr Roberts dogs for some time and told us all about it .One of his duties was to roll out copies of the exam papers – that duty was taken away from him when some boys apparently bought some papers from him ( at least that was the story at that time )Dass had a scooter and he and his wife who worked in the jr school were often seen driving down to church on it !9 I told you he was a stylish guy !) Das was also around when the grand parents of Mr and Mrs Roberts arrived from Allahabad and he made it a point to tell everyone how much they liked him. I remember Mr Roberts’ mother complaining about him to me – he was asked to put out the chairs in the evening and always made an excuse . Oh yes lest I forget- one of his jobs was buying the snacks for the boarders’ birthday celebrations in school – the snacks were fixed and so was the amount of items you could get . Everyone got the same items and could only invite that number of friends . Boarders could be seen waiting patiently for Dass and the snacks to arrive – guess they tipped him as well. The Mali- I don’t remember the Malis name ( Gardner ) but he was the one who looked after the Principals garden and the few pots outside the hall and office. He was a short sly looking guy but always had a watering can in his hand so obviously he worked hard . He too was often shouted at by Mr Roberts – he pretended to be scared but he knew that if he got a yell from Mr Roberts then Mrs Roberts would give him a tip and some food later .Watering the area outside the principal’s bungalow and putting out the chairs in the evening was one of his tasks as well. Tukaram- Tukaram was incharge of the Chem lab – very short and friendly he was always in demand when Chemistry experiments had to be conducted . There are stories galore about how he leaked out details of the exam to the senior boys on the eve of the paper and told them what SALTS to prepare for – this was never proved but all fingers pointed towards him. Naniu- He was a small little labourer. I remember him working on the extension to the Jr school and then he just stayed back in Bishops as an odd man servant. He dug holes when needed, planted trees, pulled down walls, carried stuff around the campus , borrowed money from everyone ( all the servants did that )and in general was a handy man – he had a very large family and he lived in the room under my office in Lunn Block. His young doughters also did odd jobs and one worked for the Principal – one happy family but very very poor .Nainu was also tipped by the boys who also gave him their old clothes/ shoes etc. Anil and Sanjay- The brothers were well known in school – Tall and good looking they worked in the office . Anil later came on to the estate and was very reliable - almost like an Asst Eastate manager . Their mother was a very old employee EEta bai- she worked in the Jr school as an ayah for Mrs Roberts – so did his two sisters. The grandmother Godha bai sold sweets to the boys of the Jr school during the break and I am sure many boys purchased those sweets from her. Shaler or Sailor- he was in the kitchen as a cook – rather dirty and scruffy – white hair and a walrus moustache – not sure why he got that name but I think it was given to him by William Daniels who taught Geography to the Sr classes in the early eighties. Then there was a driver – the school had one bus and the first driver was a man called Michael- a gentlemen who went to St Marys church every morning before coming to school – he died at an early age but while in Bishops he was an excellent driver and we often went by bus to Panchgani etc with him driving us- he was also on duty for the boarder picnics during the monsoon break. Alan Seymour and myself also had a bearer who brought our tiffins and cleaned our rooms – forget his name -Think it was Swami - he went on a holiday to some place and passed away – good worker – may his soul rest in peace. There were a number of bearers and cooks in the kitchen who worked from 5 am till 9 pk with hardly a break and the boarders knew them personally – many of them also tipped them for goodies and extras ! Greta memories once again – do feel free to add your comments. Cheers MG

The support staff at Bishops

Bishops support staff- 1981- 2001.  This may interest the boarders more than the day scholars as they had more interaction with the support staff but nevertheless here goes. All the support staff ( we called them servants way back then ) lived on campus – behind the Junior school block. They were the backbone of the school and worked oh so hard. Mr Roberts looked after them as well and they were all treated as family by everyone on campus. They were part and parcel of every function – knew all the boarders by name – knew a number of famous day scholars too and enjoyed the extra cash they were able to make (by way of tips) apart from their salaries. Ram Das - Ram Das definitely comes to mind first. He was a cleaner ( sweeper back then ) . Tall , straight back, salt and pepper all back hairstyle and very clean- in face good looking as well. One could see him with his broom from early in the morning sweeping the campus – at one time I think he was the only one ! Must have been a big job when you think of how large the campus was !. He always had a ready smile and gave a big salam – polite to the core . He could be seen sweeping in the morning – after the tea break at 11 , after lunch and after evening tea as well. However his strengths were Hockey and Volleyball- he enjoyed both. Come the hockey season and he was out on the field at 4 pm waiting for the team to come out for practice. Legend has it that he played for Mahrashtra seniors in the nationals for 2 years and for Pune for a number of years. To say he was a whiz with the stick would be putting it mildly – he literally ran circles round anyone with the ball and stick and could take on two three or four at a time .His back flick was legendry and he could score from almost anywhere. He had a wife and three sons- all tall as well . He loved a good game of Volley ball as well and was out every evening – we had some terrific games together and he was a jolly good sport. His serves and smashes were a sight to behold. Yashwant – Yashwant was the watchman – He was energetic and friendly and always smiling . He was the first one I met when I arrived in Bishops in 1981 and he took me up to the Cambridge dorm thinking I was a senior pupil. I reminded him of the story years later when I became Headmaster and he blushed ! Yashwant had a stick at night which he banged a few times behind the Principals bungalow- then he probably slept till morning near the lunch shed – he was on duty all day as well ! He was one of those who cycled off to Main Street to buy food for the boarders at night and earn a tip . Like the others he carried up trunks/ suitcases/ bags to the dormitories on the first day of school to earn some extra money .He carried the tiffins for Mr Pope Girdahari- Girdhari was a dorm bearer and also incharge of the infirmary. I remember the first thing that struck me about him was his long hair which he had till I left 20 years later – albeit it thinned over the years . He struck me as being a trifle lazy as well. However the infirmary duty was done sincerely – from the morning milk and breakfast till the dinner at night , he was up and down with a large tiffin carrier catering to the boys who were ill .Not sure if they too used him to buy food at night hope not as they were all on various diets ! I am not sure but I think he carried tiffins for the Dmontes and the Aviets. Shivaram- Shivaram was short and dumpy and looked like a brother of Girdhari but they were not related. He was a dorm bearer as well ie he had to clean a dormitory . He often doubled up as night watchman when the watchman was absent .He carried tiffins for the residential staff- mine as well and his family survived on all the food from the kitchen and that left over from the staff tiffins. He also took my daughters to St Mary’s across the road . He could often be seen soaked to the bone durng the rainy season and he did not seem to mind it . Members of staff often sent him to Main street for purchases and he took umpteen trips and surely walked miles – I never saw him on a cycle. I once asked him why he did not combine trips to the market and he said he liked to walk down the road and be away from home !( Probably had a wife that nagged ) He did my tiffin duty as well. Dass – Dass was the office peon – tall with a large smile and an all back hair style . He was quite a stylish guy on the quiet and his hair was oiled and wavy ! He worked in the office and was often seen getting shouted at by Mr Roberts – I guess that was the only one he feared in school . He was also incharge of bathing Mr Roberts dogs for some time and told us all about it .One of his duties was to roll out copies of the exam papers – that duty was taken away from him when some boys apparently bought some papers from him ( at least that was the story at that time )Dass had a scooter and he and his wife who worked in the jr school were often seen driving down to church on it !9 I told you he was a stylish guy !) Das was also around when the grand parents of Mr and Mrs Roberts arrived from Allahabad and he made it a point to tell everyone how much they liked him. I remember Mr Roberts’ mother complaining about him to me – he was asked to put out the chairs in the evening and always made an excuse . Oh yes lest I forget- one of his jobs was buying the snacks for the boarders’ birthday celebrations in school – the snacks were fixed and so was the amount of items you could get . Everyone got the same items and could only invite that number of friends . Boarders could be seen waiting patiently for Dass and the snacks to arrive – guess they tipped him as well. The Mali- I don’t remember the Malis name ( Gardner ) but he was the one who looked after the Principals garden and the few pots outside the hall and office. He was a short sly looking guy but always had a watering can in his hand so obviously he worked hard . He too was often shouted at by Mr Roberts – he pretended to be scared but he knew that if he got a yell from Mr Roberts then Mrs Roberts would give him a tip and some food later .Watering the area outside the principal’s bungalow and putting out the chairs in the evening was one of his tasks as well. Tukaram- Tukaram was incharge of the Chem lab – very short and friendly he was always in demand when Chemistry experiments had to be conducted . There are stories galore about how he leaked out details of the exam to the senior boys on the eve of the paper and told them what SALTS to prepare for – this was never proved but all fingers pointed towards him. Naniu- He was a small little labourer. I remember him working on the extension to the Jr school and then he just stayed back in Bishops as an odd man servant. He dug holes when needed, planted trees, pulled down walls, carried stuff around the campus , borrowed money from everyone ( all the servants did that )and in general was a handy man – he had a very large family and he lived in the room under my office in Lunn Block. His young doughters also did odd jobs and one worked for the Principal – one happy family but very very poor .Nainu was also tipped by the boys who also gave him their old clothes/ shoes etc. Anil and Sanjay- The brothers were well known in school – Tall and good looking they worked in the office . Anil later came on to the estate and was very reliable - almost like an Asst Eastate manager . Their mother was a very old employee EEta bai- she worked in the Jr school as an ayah for Mrs Roberts – so did his two sisters. The grandmother Godha bai sold sweets to the boys of the Jr school during the break and I am sure many boys purchased those sweets from her. Shaler or Sailor- he was in the kitchen as a cook – rather dirty and scruffy – white hair and a walrus moustache – not sure why he got that name but I think it was given to him by William Daniels who taught Geography to the Sr classes in the early eighties. Then there was a driver – the school had one bus and the first driver was a man called Michael- a gentlemen who went to St Marys church every morning before coming to school – he died at an early age but while in Bishops he was an excellent driver and we often went by bus to Panchgani etc with him driving us- he was also on duty for the boarder picnics during the monsoon break. Alan Seymour and myself also had a bearer who brought our tiffins and cleaned our rooms – forget his name -Think it was Swami - he went on a holiday to some place and passed away – good worker – may his soul rest in peace. There were a number of bearers and cooks in the kitchen who worked from 5 am till 9 pk with hardly a break and the boarders knew them personally – many of them also tipped them for goodies and extras ! Greta memories once again – do feel free to add your comments. Cheers MG

Sunday, 21 July 2019

Haircuts and me


So this evening I decided I needed a haircut. This was much to the annoyance of my wife, who always feels that I do not need one. It often leads to an argument. My hair can be creeping down my back but it is always the same refrain, “it’s already so short”

Being lord and master of myself – or so I think, off I went.

Now let me put things in the right perspective- For me haircuts are a bore, a drag  and a waste of time but a necessity so I endure the 25 minutes or so that it takes.

In my hometown,  as a young boy,  I had my haircut a shop named “UP TO DATE”. He was an old person and definitely OUT OF DATE but  someone once said names are deceiving – don’t ask me who and when .

In Pune, I   resided in The Bishops School campus and the same barber who cut the boys’ hair gave me a haircut as well. He was called “HANDSOME”. I was told that many years ago, some boarders gave him the nickname and it stuck. HANDSOME cut my hair for 20 years and I never complained. He did a good job – he came home and all was well.

When I moved to Dubai in 2001, I needed a haircut so I went downstairs from where I resided and found a Pakistani barbershop. 19 years later and I now drive 5 km to the same barbershop although there is one just a hundred meters from where I stay. I am sure you have realized by now that I am not fussy where haircuts are concerned.  Actually I don’t have much hair on my head and its pretty fine .

The shop is clean, the barbers are polite and that is all that matters.  I fail to understand what all the fuss is about where haircuts and barbers are concerned.

So back to this evening. Being in Pune and with no HANDSOME around, I walked into the first shop I saw, which was about fifty meters from my house.

Yes, the saloon was clean and busy and that told me he was good! In I went.

Cloth around my neck and neatly tucked in and he stumped me with his first question, “which style Sir “

Now no one has ever asked me this question before.

It is usually me enter shop, I am wished, I sit down, cloth goes around my neck and in a short while I am out. It’s a no brainer .

“Which style Sir “was a new one and I said, “TRIM” rather nonchalantly and without looking at him.

He smiled as if to say, “OK you are not fussy”

Fifteen minutes later I was done. He immediately produced one of those square mirrors to show me the back of my head. I could not care less.  He then asked me if I wanted a head massage to which I agreed. I still do not know why I said yes.

A list of about eight different oils, was rattled off by him. He was a fast talker. The only word I could decipher was COCONUT, so coconut it was.

The oil was poured generously and he massaged, kneaded, manipulated,   rubbed, pounded, banged, pulled, and pressed my scalp in all manners possible. Just when I was about to say THANK YOU, he produced a small machine from a draw. Strapping it on to his hand, he then began rubbing it all over my head – my forehead, my neck, my scalp, my ears and the top of my eyebrows. It jarred, hummed and frightened me.

Not sure why, but he kept on and on as if he was intent on scooping out my brains and presenting them to me on a silver platter as a giveaway gift.

Then, without warning, and so much as a” MAY I”, he stopped the assault. I was alive.

He smiled. I attempted a weak smile in reply.

He handed me a comb and with trembling hands, I combed my hair half expecting my brains to fall out at any minute  

I paid and I tipped him, thankful that all was well.  Before leaving, I gave one last look at myself in the mirror. My face looked chalky white and my pupils were dilated.

I reached home and my wife said “Oh my God, he has cut your hair is so short.

Give me a break – Please.

I looked in the mirror again – Yes I looked good !