The late bloomers

 If you are a parent of a school going child then you may like to read this. 

He/ She need not always be 

The flag bearer on sports day 

The leader in the PE display 

The King or Queen in the school play 

Be in the play in the first place and have a speaking role

Selected to represent the school in competitions 

The class monitor

The House Captain

A school prefect 

The Head Boy or Head Girl

Come first in class

Score above 95% in school / board examinations

Have his/ her name up on the honours board 

Recognised / honoured at the school assembly .

The one selected to welcome the Chief Guest

The one chosen to present the gift/ bouquet to the guest of honour 

The teacher's pet

The one whose photo appears in the school magazine 

The main character in the school promotional video

The Rex/ Victor  ludorum ( Bishopites would remember this) 

There are pupils who are late bloomers. 

Considered shy or timid in school. 

Never selected for any prominent role 

Who teachers feel lack leadership qualities.

Who wait in vain to be recognised and given that one opportunity to prove themselves.

Often they do quite well in life - they rise to the top of their profession, while leading with distinction. 

The cream always rises to the top. 

It's all about self confidence and biding one's time . 

Patience and perseverance pays dividends.

St Michael the Archangel

 I have posted something similar some time ago, so if it rings a bell, stop reading and go about your business.

If you have nothing interesting to do - keep reading .

This morning, I woke a little later than normal. You see , it's a holiday and we have a long weekend, so am making the best of it. 

 I am usually up and about by around 4.45 am - having tea, reading the news papers, looking at my mail  to see if I have inherited a fortune from some unknown relative , checking Facebook and wishing people for their birthdays, then finally opening WhatsApp- not necessarily in that order. 

And there it was. A close friend wishing me a Happy Feast day. Thanks FM and MM.

At first I did a double take but then realized  that today is the feast of St Michael the archangel. 

So hear I was- smiling - Happy Feast day to me and all that ! Yippee. 

Almost like Father's day - hardly anyone remembers, till you remind them. 

Quite unlike Mother' s day which is celebrated with flowers, gifts and dinners twice or thrice a year ! 

Anyway, back to my Feast day.

Archangels are leaders so I got that right . 

Meanwhile , am thinking of the other angelic qualities I possess. 

Now please don't start sending me messages about how good I am - I already know that - okay!

But on to something different. 

I probably have done a similar post but I can't seem to trace it. Old age and all.

As a young boy I was a parishioner of St Patrick's Church in Allahabad- India.

For the purists , it's now Pryagraj. 

The parish priest was Fr Germain. Old residents would probably remember him.

He was a good human being and the youth of the parish gravitated towards him, as he was young at heart- like me now!

As a young teen - or probably a preteen, I observed that he had a comfortable residence , rode a scooter , and had a fridge- all luxuries back in the day. There was also a cook and a cleaning lady. 

I was a timid young boy with no idea as to what I would do in the future. I also knew that there was no ' family inheritance ' to look forward to.

So I began fancying myself becoming a priest. 

I fathomed that it was an easy job. I would be assured of food , accommodation , clothing and money. To top it all, everyone would call me ' Father ' . I didn't exactly fancy studying. 

For two or three years I toyed with this lovely  idea. 

I , with a few friends , spent a lot of time  helping out in church, serving at Mass, doing petty chores, attending all services etc. I was a good little Christian boy. 

At home, I also acted out being a priest,  and doused my cousins by sprinkling them with  plenty of tap water ! There were also the imaginary confessions and I often fantisized about people telling me their sins!

It was  a lot of fun. 

At church we were in the limelight- had a free run of the mango and guava trees , were occasionally given ten rupees to have a Dosa and were permitted to hang around in church at will. And there were girls ! 

Then came the teenage years and with that  came  innumerable distractions ,  and music, and my band,  and  parties and  without much thought, the vision for my future changed almost overnight .

So although I didn't end up wearing a cassock and being called father I ended up as a teacher being called Sir.

So - today is my Feast day, and I will make sure to say a silent prayer to St Michael the archangel , to bless me and all my lovely friends .

Am grateful

 Am grateful

 For innumerable things and moments.

For this life - The almighty has blessed me

In ways I could never have imagined 

Am grateful 

For my family - the immediate ones 

And my  two precious granddaughters!

Not forgetting all the others- spread around the globe - they all matter

In some way or the other.

Am grateful 

For my close friends

I don't have too many 

But I value their friendship and support.

All just a call away.

Am grateful 

For childhood friends - there are a few 

And sadly others have passed on

We made wonderful memories together 

Never to be forgotten

And when we reconnect in person

Or virtually 

Time stands still

As we are transported back to the decades

That have passed

We are teens and young adults once again

The laughter, the camaraderie, the madness, the love.

Wow !

Am grateful 

For other friends I have met and made over the years

I know we could do better on the 

'Keeping in touch' front

But nevertheless- we connect when possible 

And those moments are special 

Even if they are brief.

Am grateful 

For colleagues I have worked with over 

The last four decades

And those I still work with even today 

Experiences and moments to cherish

A mixture of the brilliant,  the good 

The not so good and the in between 

But we are all still learning and growing. 

Am grateful 

For pupils I have taught and interacted with

In Allahabad, Pune and the UAE.

I am humbled and proud to say

I have probably touched quite a few lives.

May not have always been the perfect teacher 

Or human being, for that matter 

But perfection is a myth

And i am a  better person today

 than what I was yesterday 

And that's what matters.

My pupils have always been so special to me

Some young , some middle aged now- 

With kids of their own

But they are all still boys to me .

The 'Sir' is at times embarrassing 

But then

I refer to my teachers the same way.

May be old fashioned or outdated 

For the modern generation 

But  respect matters

I sit here

in the silence of the morning

Mind wandering 

 There is not a sound to be heard

Save my own breathing 

And reminisce on years gone bye.

On struggles, successes  - failures and achievements 

And when I pick up that scale 

And weigh things up

I smile in humble contentment. 

It's a gratifying moment of realization.

I take a deep breath of satisfaction 

Because with abundant  blessings from above 

Coupled with unadulterated 

Love, help and support from so many

Life continues to be good.

Of Malls Hotels and Airports

 Of Malls, Hotels and Airports.

Random musings. No offence meant to anyone . 

I have absolutely nothing to do right now  as it's the weekend, the wife is in India, and the guy who is supposed to be on the way to fix my Internet router seems to have gone elsewhere as he was 5 minutes away about 45  minutes ago.

It is on mornings like this, that my mind wanders on to aimless topics .

Please don't read further if you have something better to do, or you are one of those super duper types, who multi task all day long. You know those people - cooking  ,watching TV, helping the kid with homework, making a PPT while eating breakfast at the same time ! 

This post is for the lazy, for the aimless and for the old like me.

Malls first- this is India I am talking about. Now what's with the security at the entrance to Malls. Have often seen one over enthusiastic guy at the entrance ready to check your handbag and frisk you !. What exactly are they looking for?. And if by chance some sinister individual has something dangerous and they find it- what happens next? Will they blow their whistle? Start hammering the person with their lathi? Phone their head office ? Would this person remain standing and wait for the matter to run it's course ? And no one is so stupid to walk into a mall with something in a pocket or a shopping bag. 

Hotels? Drive into any five star hotel and you are politely stopped at the gate. There are usually two guards, and one has a rather starved looking dog on a leash. While this  guy gets the dog to sniff around the car, the other has a contraption on a metal pole . He then pushes it under the car on all 4 sides searching for you know what !. He also orders the driver to open the bonnet and peers in. The same for the boot of the car. He looks while the dog sniffs. Or at least it's supposed to . Once  my wife packed mutton roast and put it in the hand luggage. The dog went into a frenzy. The guys got excited. Their first big find in a decade. I had to get out of the car. When they saw the roast they looked dejected. Much ado about nothing.The whole searching procedure is repeated for every vehicle that enters. They don't check the inside of the car , nor the luggage. This has gone on for years now. Do they seriously believe they will find whatever they are searching for in such obvious places?. They look bored and worn out and so does the poor dog and I pity them. I once asked one of these men if they had ever found anything,and his smile said it all. And once again. Have they got an inkling as to what to do IF they find something ? 

Airports- I agree that thorough checking at the security counter is a must, but have you noticed how men are checked while standing on a sort of pedestal in the open while women are taken into a sort of curtain enclosed area to be checked. Often wondered about this. Looks like discrimination to me ? Just saying!

Ok got to go. Someone at the door.

An early morning walk

 So let me set the scene. 

I woke at 4.45 am. Yes it's absolutely absurd to do that when on holiday, but that's me. 

Out for a brisk walk by 5.45. It was a trifle sultry, but I was listening to some good music and feeling positive. 

A few crazy people like me were walking too - with their dogs. I always give them a wide berth. An early morning dog bite is not my thing.  In fact you can remove ' early morning '. A dog bite  is not my thing.

So I was  feeling energetic hence  I increased my pace.

Started swinging my arms, then realized that a similar, sudden burst of energy, caused me to pull a muscle some months ago. 

Yes I am not the super fit type- just ok. 

Pulled in my stomach  and imagined how good I'd look if it were like that permanently. 

Got those silly, inconsequential, imaginary thoughts out of my head, and walked on. 

More dogs sauntered by, on leashes held by maids, busy on their phones. 

Then stopped to record the moment and then in happened.

Two white geese appeared out of thin air and began flapping their wings.

They had probably just woken and like me swinging my arms,  they too were savouring the moment.

Then they began waddling behind me.

Not too concerned I walked on. 

When suddenly , without much warning I saw them sprint in my direction. 

I began to jog( to the best of my ability ).

Geese are faster than  you imagine. Geese determined to chase even faster.

Before I could say ' stop acting mad you crazy birds' they were on my case and almost at my heels.

No provocation and no reason. I guess they had chicks in the vicinity , and I was the perceived predator.

Luckily for me, a large brown cat darted out of the hedge and that scared them away.

So now, besides dogs that may try to nip me, and cats that harass for food, I must be wary of geese as well.

Waiting

 

We wait nine months to be born and for the rest of our lives, it’s all about waiting. We are forever ‘in line’ – waiting for opportunities to arise or something to happen.

We wait to finish school, complete our college education, and get a job. We then wait, while trying to find the right spouse and get married. It’s then a wait before we beget children and add to the world’s population- waiting seems to be an ever-present aspect of our lives. Not sure whether all this waiting teaches us patience, self-control, and resilience or makes us more impatient in the long run. They say waiting makes us understand the value of time, and when the waiting period is over, the rewards are more appreciated. This is debatable.  

In this fast-paced world in which we live, we have begun to expect instant gratification, and patience is a virtue long forgotten by most. All one must do is drive into a busy city and watch how many individuals behave, once behind the wheel, or just stand in a queue, and hear the peeved and at times, pretty nasty comments all around. Nowadays, even the nanoscopic wait suddenly becomes unbearable. The constant connectivity and easy and immediate access to information has heightened our impatience, leaving us unaccustomed to delayed appeasement.

Think of how you wait for a telephone call that doesn’t come, a mail you expected to see in your inbox, or just a simple message to say ‘hi’. We wait to go on vacation or for a loved one to return. You wait to be acknowledged for a job you think you did well. People wait for the ‘likes’ on their posts- external validation somehow boosts their self-esteem.  It's a dopamine effect and each to his / her own.

However, there is the flip side to compulsory waiting, and these are our own apprehensions, uncertainties, and fears, that make us wait, in what we force ourselves to believe, is ‘time to take stock of the situation and plan’. This tendency to ‘wait indefinitely’ which we inflict upon our unsuspecting minds, often leads to missed opportunities, as we postpone decisions and resultant actions, in the assumption or hope that something better or more rewarding, is around the corner.

 Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, but he who hesitates is lost! Thus, choose whichever suits you, but I believe that being decisive is key.

We don’t always realize it, but we are always waiting for the starter’s gun before we commence running; waiting for permission;  waiting for someone to say ‘yes’. ‘Take it easy’ and ‘Slow down’ are oft-heard phrases and they have their merit as well, but should we base our life on them?

 We are always told to embrace the journey, find solace in the present and make the most of every moment while striving towards our goal. Life for the day- smell the roses, take in the sights …... have heard it all.

I was recently asked what my Leadership style is where the waiting game is concerned.  

This is my take –

I am a trifle impatient, and I don’t shy away from saying it. Waiting around indefinitely for things to happen often causes my patience to wane, and restlessness to set in. Time seems to drag on eternally. I like to get out there, dirty my hands where necessary, and ensure the task is completed.

I believe that effective leaders should balance the need for thoughtful consideration with timely action. The waiting period depends on the situation's urgency, complexity, and potential consequences. Rapid decisions might be necessary in emergencies, while more complex issues will require more time for more detailed & in-depth analysis. Flexibility and adaptability are essential traits for leaders in navigating these decisions. And then there are always others one can seek advice from.  

Unfortunately, there’s no fail-safe way to know when to take decisive action, and when to prudently wait, until conditions are optimal. It’s a gut feeling that I rely on under these circumstances, and I have rarely been wrong.

All things being said, I have a deep longing for resolution, for progress, for change- hanging around is not my style.

 

 

Are you feeling drained or burnt out

 

Are you feeling drained or burnt out?

 

When speaking to friends and colleagues, an oft discussed topic is ‘’work”– obviously!

The conversation often veers towards ‘how much work is too much’ and what to do when one feels like ‘’throwing in the towel’ due to burn out, or because of feeling unappreciated.

In the present day and age, feeling burnt out and unappreciated is quite a common experience for many individuals, in various stages and aspects of life, and this includes work and relationships too. There are several contributory factors leading up to this emotional state, which finally lead to a sense of exhaustion and disenchantment.

Not feeling sufficiently acknowledged can significantly impact one's motivation and satisfaction. When individuals invest all their time, energy, and skills into something, they naturally desire recognition for their efforts. Without due appreciation, acknowledgement, or gratitude, it's easy to feel undervalued, leading to a diminishing sense of self-worth and an increasing belief that their contributions are taken for granted. Even worse is when someone else takes credit for the work you do or doesn’t seem to realize your value. That must be the icing on the cake.

I must clarify- and this should not come as a surprise - this does not only happen in the workplace – it happens very frequently at home as well.

In addition to that, excessive workload, poor leadership, unjustified demands, and insufficient time to complete a task, leads to burnout. Unfortunately, modern society often glorifies busyness, and places extremely high expectations on output & productivity. This constant pressure to perform at 100% forces individuals to work long hours, neglect self-care, and sacrifice personal time. Over a period, this unsustainable lifestyle depletes energy reserves, erodes motivation, and results in a state of emotional and physical exhaustion. It is then that there is a tilt in the work life balance and that has a downward spiraling effect. When this happens, it is only natural that families and organizations suffer.

 In this respect, technology hasn’t helped, as it keeps us constantly connected, thus eroding the boundaries between personal and professional life. This blurring of lines leads to a perpetual cycle of work-related stress, leaving individuals feeling overwhelmed and drained, with little time or energy for family or personal pastimes.

There is no debating the fact that everyone is accountable, and everyone must deliver, but expectations must be realistic.

And if by chance the work environment is toxic, if there are negative interactions, conflicts, politics or one upmanship, emotional exhaustion sets in, and the thrill of working is lost.

Addressing these issues requires a holistic approach, including open communication, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and cultivating a supportive network. Recognizing and valuing the efforts of individuals is crucial, in fostering a sense of appreciation and reducing burnout, ultimately leading to greater well-being and productivity.

It is here that effective leadership is key. Leaders who are genuinely concerned about the wellbeing of their team should play an active part in ensuring that all employees in their team are assisted in establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life. Leaders must do more asking, coaching, supporting, listening, clearing roadblocks, removing red tape and overall, helping make life easier. Employees must want to come to work and there are no two ways about this.

Here are things a few suggestions that could help.

 

Start with believing in yourself and all you have accomplished – positivity pays.

 Spend time with loved ones and realize that sometimes it’s fine to do nothing!

Talk matters over with someone you trust and seek advice on how to cope better.

 Indulge in hobbies or just practice mindfulness and meditation.

 Effectively manage your time by prioritizing tasks, delegating when possible, and avoiding overcommitment.

Learn to ask for help – it doesn’t reflect on your capabilities in any way.

Learn to say no and realize that it's important to recognize your limits.

 Overcommitting, and always saying ‘’ YES’ can lead to increased stress and exhaustion.

Be more selective about what task you take on.

Be realistic about goals and timelines and avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Break down your goals into achievable steps.

 Remember that you are only human, and it's okay to make mistakes or re-adjust your plans when needed.

Take regular time off- utilize your weekends, holidays, or long vacations to recharge.

Whenever possible, disconnect from work-related activities, and allow yourself to instead engage in projects or tasks that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Learn not to be too hard on yourself or your own worst critic!

Remember, preventing burnout is an ongoing effort. It's important to listen to your body and mind and prioritize your well-being to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

"Love yourself unconditionally, for you are a magnificent creation worthy of all the love and happiness in the world."