Why is everyone so ‘EXCITED’ these days? And what about all the Praise and Rewards?
Necessary?
A tad excessive?
It’s how things are done these days maybe!
Has anyone else noticed this, or have I suddenly
metamorphosed into a dullard, who is incapable of any form of jazzed-up emotion
or spirited zeal?
When I look around me, I see that many people, irrespective
of age, size, nationality, colour, and religion, seem to be perpetually on the
brink of exploding with excitement, over the most trivial of matters. Their over-exuberance
and perkiness tend to exasperate me, to say the least.
They are bouncing off the walls like kangaroos on a
trampoline, and are often so hyped up, that they can power a small city with
their boundless energy.
It usually begins at home, where we have begun rewarding
children for things like eating their food, doing their homework, waking up in
time for school, being polite to family and friends, having a bath, not using
foul language, not messing up their room- so on and so forth!
Phrases I heard
when in school were ‘Study hard’, ‘Make sure you copy your homework’, ‘Be a
good boy today’, ‘See you look after your things’, ‘Check your test paper
before you hand it in’, and the like.
Today when the child is off to school it is, ‘Have a good
time’, ‘Check your test paper and ask the teacher to recheck if she gives you fewer
marks’, ‘If nothing much is going on, come home early and rest- just say you
are not feeling well! I somehow can't get my head around things like this.
Don’t get me
wrong, I’m all for praise and so-called positive parenting, but are we doing our
children a disservice? Will they next expect a prize, for merely getting
themselves out of bed and a pizza treat for sitting on the toilet?
They will have no experience of failure
because they’re being told all the time that everything, they do is
astoundingly brilliant. So, when they do something great, do our words of praise have no effect, because they’re
used to hearing it all the time?
Sadly, when these tiny tots go to school, the
over-the-top admiration and excitement continue. In the present day and age, kids are so accustomed to
phrases like: -
“ You’ve got it right”, “Super work indeed- I couldn’t have done it better”. “Nice
going- give me a high five !” That was first class work” and words like - Outstanding,
Sensational, Fantastic, and Superb, that when they do not hear them, they feel
the teacher does not like them any longer! I find that utterly ridiculous and
bordering on the absurd.
Even if they give
a very average answer to a straightforward question, the whole class is asked
to clap and applaud and the teacher prances over to exchange a personal
greeting- all in the name of encouragement and well-being.
Then there are
the stickers, certificates, artificial tattoos, praise boards, points for good behaviour,
mascots to take home, crowns and tiaras to wear for the day, and the list goes on.
Not sure where this will end, but it's certainly something that concerns me.
Simple admonishment
now seems taboo, and people get offended at the drop of a hat. We are mortified
if a teacher speaks to our ward in a strict tone and one hears phrases like ‘This
is insulting’, That was uncalled for, ‘My child is depressed and does not want
to return to class’
Seriously?
Don’t you think we need
to get the balance right once again?
A friend of mine told me how he walked into his regular
coffee shop early one morning and was the very first customer.
The new barista was beaming like a kid on Christmas
morning – except that this was a regular Friday!
He began with, “OMG- I have been waiting for my first
customer – You are going to love your latte! I just know it! He then high-fived
my friend and did a little dance, before skipping behind the counter, where he hummed
a tune and pranced about like a caffeinated squirrel on espresso while
preparing the coffee.
Now don’t get me wrong – the young man was probably just
trying to do a good job, more so because it was his first day, and this was his
first customer, but there is something undeniably absurd about being treated
like royalty for ordering a cup of coffee. We both agreed that the barista was
a bit over the top – after all, it was just a cup of coffee and not a cure for
world hunger!
You also hear stories about the workplace, and they are
even more hilarious. I have met people who would begin every workshop with ‘I
am so excited to be doing this session- Are we all not happy to be here’! I often wanted to shout out ‘NO’, but then,
better sense would prevail!
Over excitement or to put it more simply- the state of
being excessively stimulated, has become a pervasive aspect of modern life. It
has permeated various spheres of society from schools to colleges to the
workplace and personal relationships, and while excitement and enthusiasm are
both positive attributes when taken to extremes, they have a detrimental effect
on the physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This in turn often leads to
frustration, burnout, and fatigue – something all too common in our world
today. This constant overstimulation affects the immune system, sleep patterns,
and our general health.
In a culture that has come to believe that busyness is
equal to productivity and achievement, everyone is always ‘on the go’, and then
we wonder why so many adults and children are often anxious and unable to
relax.
This pressure to maintain a façade of ceaseless motivation
and achievement contributes to feelings of ineptitude and imposter syndrome.
You observe closely and you will see innumerably
individuals who seem compelled to constantly seek out new sources of excitement
and validation to measure up to some vague unrealistic standards. This pursuit
of validation erodes self-esteem and contributes to feelings of emptiness and
dissatisfaction with one's own life. Mood swings, irritability, depression, sluggishness,
and emotional instability follow.
