Spectacles

 While many believe that Benjamin Franklin invented spectacles, actually it was Salvino D'Armati, a 13th century Italian from Florence. In reality, I do not care who invented them, as I am not very fond of them in the first place. 

 Some believe that shades or dark glasses were worn even earlier than that to protect the eyes from the bright sun.

I started wearing spectacles in my 40’s and dark glasses about ten years before that.

This morning I woke at about five am, as I always do to read the newspapers and then spent around twenty minutes searching for my glasses. You can put this down to old age, amnesia, and the onset of dementia or whatever. You can call me careless, sleepy head or a forgetful old man- I DO NOT CARE!

I finally found them – they had slipped between the end of the sofa and the cushion. Thrilled, I opened the door, picked up the newspapers and sat down to read them. Only then did I realize that these were my “distance glasses”. The “reading” glasses had been near my pillow throughout. 

Now I know you are sniggering at me having different spectacles for reading and distance but that is me. 

I did try the progressive ones a few years ago for a few days- three to be precise- got splitting migraines, felt nauseous and put them aside for good.

So now, I carry two pairs around and that is the problem. Am usually wearing one and have the other in my pocket. Most of my shirts do not have pockets and if I am not wearing a coat, the second pair is usually deep in the trouser pocket.

This causes them to go out of shape and often become lopsided soon. I am quite careless with spectacles as well and often leave them lying around – on office tables , on peg tables at home , beside me on the sofa , on the seat of the car , in the receptacle between the car seats etc . When reading, the second pair is often on my lap and the obvious happens- I get up in a hurry and the glasses are on the floor. I have stamped them, kicked them and once smashed them as well. 

I am constantly being advised on how to look after them – get lanyards, use a case, treat them with respect, don’t let them lie around- this advice goes in from one year and out of the other . 

No, I am not proud of the way I treat my spectacles but I am so fed up with the two pairs. 

As a young boy I remember hearing conversations of people having used their spectacles for years – they never broke, were damaged or lost! How they managed with the same pair for years beats me.

In addition, I have not yet mentioned something else. Last week I suddenly put on my glasses (in the morning) and was definite I was losing my vision. Everything was a blur in the right eye. Thoughts of cataract and glaucoma raced through my mind as I rushed to the washroom and washed my eye and the glasses too. 

Only then did I realize that the lens were badly scratched and my eyes were fine. Thankful for small mercies!

Therefore, off I went to the optician to have the lens changed. He recognized me and seemed rather pleased – do not think any of his customers go through four pairs of glasses in a year.

While I sit at my computer, keying in this article, I am wearing my old spectacles. I used the old distance ones while driving this morning. Once I get the newer pairs back, I will give these in for a similar lens change – you guessed it right – both these pairs are scratched as well.

Do you know how tea was discovered

 Woke at 4.45. Tea, papers etc done by 5.45 and out for a walk. 

Was the first 'walker' and it felt nice- 'early bird catching the worm' and all that!

Took some quick photos for posterity and did three rounds of the lake,inside an hour. 

Then sat down on a bench and surveyed the scene around me.

The cats, the ducks, the little duckling and its siblings, the pristine lawns , the fountains ,and the morning walkers, who had all now appeared- familiar sights. 

There is one very tall man with a large dog who runs around the lake at a frantic pace- both morning and evening. Thankfully I was seated, because every time he passes me , I feel like a midget. He is probably six and a half feet tall and still growing ! 

Thought of getting home and having another cup of tea. However I felt like sitting for a while longer as the air was so lovely fresh air. 

 I decided to try and meditate as I had read how useful this was. However my mind began drifting, and hence I took out my mobile and began scrolling through the news. 

Surprisingly the topic that popped up first was ' tea' . 

Are these mobiles cleverer than we know? . 

Have always had a sneaking suspicion about this. 

There was an interesting article, on how tea as we drink it ,was discovered, which had me rather intrigued.

Apparently there was this Chinese emperor guy named Shen Nung, in 2737 BC. 

Like many of you , he loved drinking hot water for good health! So his servant was boiling some for his majesty. 

Some dead leaves from a tree fell into the boiling pot. No - his servant nor he took them out -"so they continued to boil. 

He then drank that water and yippee- tea was discovered. 

 A bit of a strange story ,but who cares , we have a lovely beverage ,thanks to him.

Cats, dogs and humans

 So while on a walk this evening my attention was drawn to cats ,dogs and humans. 

You see, it's a lovely one and a half kilometre walk around a large lake. There is an observation I made today. 

When someone is approaching from the opposite side, both people seem confused as to which side of the track to walk on. Believe it or not I have often had to step aside at the last moment to avoid banging into the person approaching from the opposite direction. Odd isn't it?

What strikes me as strange is that very few nod, smile leave alone wish each other the time of the day. I tried it on a few occasions with minimal success . Have stopped now. Don't want anyone to think I am trying to be extra friendly!

As we pass each other, we humans look down at the ground, look at our phones, look at the scenery around, up at the sky or just stare blankly ahead. Probably a trifle rude but that's the way it is.

Very much like cats- no emotion. All that's missing is the hissing !

On the other hand, watch maids walking their master's dogs. Or for that matter, the owners themselves. As soon as the dogs see their counterparts approaching they are all excited. 

They are whining , barking, straining on their leash and so excited. The closer they come, the more the excitement. 

As soon as they are together they are jumping, barking in excitement, licking each other, running around and one can perceive the pure unadulterated joy.

They put us humans to shame.

We are busy putting up walls and fences - busy wearing 'masks' and avoiding others just because we ' don't know them'. 

Dogs are good examples aren't they ?

Plenty for us to learn indeed.

Teach your kids

 Teach you kids.....

That earthworms don't bite

And butterflies don't sting.

That gekos are timid

And many birds sing.

That gardening

 is a great way to pass time 

And walking barefoot is fun

That staying indoors is unhealthy 

 And plenty can be gained

From playing in the sun.

That reading books

 is not outdated

And board games 

Teach us more than we imagine.

That music is a stress buster

And playing an instrument 

Is a great add on to a CV.

That cuts, bruises and scrapes 

Are part of growing up

And very normal 

And that arguments and disagreements

Are not wars

 and cause no permanent scars.

That it's okay to lose

And no disgrace to place second or third.

That winning is great

But being defeated is a learning experience too.

Teach them these and more

And teach them well.

Ducks and me

 Up with the rising sun and out for a walk - also in the mood to do a bit of writing so looking for inspiration. 

There it was ,right before me - a single little brownish duckling, towards the corner of the lake. He was young and precautious, and he saw me for sure because he stared brazenly without flinching.

Oh, that guy was all alone and sure was having fun. He was not in need of any company either!

He was ducking and diving- bobbing in and out of the water and fluttering his wings every now and then. This was unadulterated relaxation fir him. 

He swirled and twirled, and did umpteen three sixties, while keeping a keen eye out for feline predators patrolling nearby. 

He then took a deep dive and emerged with something in his beak. Probably a morning snack ! He definitely saw me moving closer to take a photo, because he moved further, towards deeper water. He continued darting about, splashing and frolicking for a while, and then, like a mini speedboat departing, he swam away stealthy,leaving a pattern of tiny waves behind him. He was definitely making the best of the amazing weather. 

I walked on. I have a bit of a paunch I am trying to rid myself of so I increased my pace. 

Then at the other end of the lake , on a small ledge, beside a fountain, stood five white adult ducks. 

They had their backs to each other and seriously looked bored and dejected with life! I stood and observed them for a while . They stood motionless ,staring aimlessly.

There was no frolicking , no diving, no swimming , no fun. They fluffed their wings occasionally, while using their flat beaks to clean the feathers under their neck. Obviously more of a habit than a necessity.

All that was missing were their mobile phones, if you are able to make the connection!

Got me thinking of human beings.

It's fun when your young . You are bursting with energy and you're always raring to go. However, as you get older, you become dull, monotonous and uninspiring. You lose the spring in your step - the laughter dries up and you resign yourself to the years ahead- to pantaloons, slippers, spectacles and medication!

Don't let it be that way. Life is for those who truly want to live it.

And remember- you can have fun on your own as well, because at times, company can be boring. 

Forget about conforming to the expectations of society. If you want to have your 'me time', go ahead and have it. 

It's your life after all .

Am sure the next time you see ducks, you will think of my little story.

On being grateful

 Went for a walk this morning. There was a bit of a nip in the crisp air. The pristine lawns, with the lake near by, looked awesome. The whole area was spotlessly clean and the hedges had been freshly trimmed. The ducks made me feel like having a swim. Then I looked at the sky and saw clouds with the rays of the sun forcing themselves through. Beauty personified. 

I immediately thought of poetry- it was there for the taking. 

I sat down excitedly and started keying in words. Nothing like a descriptive poem to inspire readers.

Then I remembered that I was colour blind, and was not being able to do justice to nature, in all its glory. ' That's not fair', I said to myself.

I put the phone away and walked home dejectedly. 

And then realisation dawned....

I felt grateful. Immensely grateful

I could see

I could walk 

I had a home 

Breakfast would be ready.

Being positive is paramount.

This is officially the first day of my vacation and I feel good.

 I am no Christopher Columbus , no Fridtjof  Nansen, no Ibn Battutta either.

At times I am of  the firm opinion that I was not born to travel - travel is indeed anathema to me .

Do I like to travel ? Yes - and that indeed is the unexplainable paradox  !

 Don't get me wrong -   I like to travel but to be frank I enjoy the destination but  literally detest the journey.

  No I don't think that explanation carries weight .

Its not actually the journey but the build up that gets under my skin - that gets me all jittery and irritable and a trifle nervous as well . A trifle ? Give me a break !

When someone at a party walks in with a swagger, joins the conversation , talks with  style , says he lives out of a suitcase for 20 days a month and has just flown in that very evening from Timbukto after visiting Belarus and never even had time to shave  , I  am ready to bow in reverence .

How do they do it ? These demi Gods of the skies need to get a star named after them .

Listen to one of my stories  now and be the better judge .

I had to travel to India - to Delhi to be precise . It was a 3 day trip and should have been a breeze .

For me it was a hurricane. Thunder and lightening thrown in for effect .

Booking an online  ticket was the first hurdle  - this is easier said than done . There are umpteen flights and far too many airlines . Too many options confuse me. There were 207 flights from the UAE to Delhi . Its a 3 hour journey approximately for  goodness sake so show me the best flights first .

However the first 30 options  or so showed journeys which lasted anything between 18 and 30 hours in totality .  There were 3 stop flights  , 2 stop flights and one stop  flights . They were mini whirl wind tours of India from the sky . You missed the dirt and the grime and the pollution as you were at airports and airports are cleaner than most cities . (At least most of them are till you visit the toilets )  You landed and took off till you were giddy  and nauseous.

Pray where were the non stop flights? Should they have not been the first option?

Finally I got to the non stop flights .

After keying in many details I saw that the flights were full on the day I had decided to travel on . Murphy's law in play.

I start all over again and come to payment options . It says that they will send me a secret number  via sms which I need to key in to verify payment . I wait and yes you guessed correctly - NO MESSAGE

I take a break and an hour or so later I start all over again. Presto- the fares have increased by 100 rupees . Now that's what I call ' making a fast buck'

Tickets booked finally and I heave a sigh of relief.

Lets cut to the chase . Packing is always fun . Depending on the weight the particular carrier allows . What do you take by way of clothes . My mind goes back to that demi God who " just threw some things into a duffel  bag and was out of the house in a jiffy " I bow again. Pray fair Sir how do you do it ?

If you minus the weight of the suitcase itself and leave a kg or 2  for the faulty weighing scale at many  airports , there aren't very many options . So I pack the minimum  and hope against  hope  that it will suffice . The suitcase is opened , checked, weighed  and closed any number of times - and this too , many hours before departure . OCD probably ? There is always something more to put in, something extra to take out and something to change . And then there are the keys - tiny key holes make it even worse. 

Then- I must have something handy to wear in the hand luggage - what if my suitcase is lost ?

Then its the ticket , the passport , the money , the pouch , the keys , the pen , the phones, the charger, the multi plugs, a book to read, the I pad , another charger...................

If its an early morning flight I set two alarms because although I get up early on a regular basis , something tells me that on the day of the flight I may go into a stupor and wake late . I then get up a couple of times in the night to check the time and ensure that I have set the correct alarms and that things are not on silent mode or any such nonsense. You never know with these gadgets - they tend to play up at the most inopportune moments. 

I then try in vain to hypnotize myself to sleep, to count sheep , chickens or whatever . When the alarms finally do go off I am already dressed.

Breakfast - no- it may upset my stomach . Who knows what a fried egg can do when its in the mood ! 

Will the taxi arrive - will the driver be on time . What is the car breaks down .  

The luggage was put near the door the previous night - saving time in the morning !

I have never bathed faster. I usually have a shave the night before .

Am at the airport after having checked my ticket and passport umpteen times - don't want to risk leaving them at home do I ?

Don't want to land at the airport with the wrong passport either . 

I also check my visa and passport expiry dates - just in case - you never know when they will expire and I will be stumped . I

If you thought this was stressful wait for the next steps.

I always - yes always get static electricity shocks from the trolley . Disgusting .

There is a long line of passengers waiting to check in . Why is everyone travelling just on this day . Why so many children as well .  After what seems like eternity I am at the counter .

These counter guys and gals know how very important they are to us travelling mortals and they sure make the most of it .

Always worried about the weight of my  luggage - have paid for excess quite often - but not when travelling alone so why the tension ? Don't ask me .

The luggage is weighed - it always seems to weigh a kilo or two more that what the weighing scale showed at home but no issues - still within limits . Sigh. Chuckle to myself- am learning to beat the system . No money to be paid. 

The problem is  in the next step - If I have not done an online check in then will I manage an isle seat- you see I am claustrophobic and I just cannot sit anywhere else but in the aisle seat .

So I try to sound humble, simple , friendly etc I smile - it always  works . No clue what I would do if it did not . "Mr Guzder- I have managed to give you an isle seat " The voice floats towards me on a cloud- I am in seventh heaven . 

Now comes the dreaded Passport control- what if my name clashes with someone who has been blacklisted ? I know with the combination of my First and surname there is a very slim chance of this happening , but then one never knows - Murphy's law and all .............

I am asked to look into the camera - the man / woman at the counter does a double take - Is something wrong ? Do I resemble someone dangerous ? Is this the day I have been dreading - will I be taken away for interrogation ? Handcuffed . Who will I make a call to ?. I rack my brains and keep a name in mind . 

Nothing of that happens - and I move on but I could have sworn that the person at the counter almost sent for a superior officer - just to make sure I was who the passport said I was !

Its now the body and hand luggage check .

I deposit every piece of metal on my person into my hand bag - watch , belt , mobiles , purse . Will they ask me to take off my chain - I hope not as I can't.

I spread my legs , raise my hands and try and look as un - threatening as possible. Surely the guy wont ask me to step aside . The ticket is stamped . I say thank you loud and clear . I breathe deeply .

 I go through without a scratch  but my bag seems to have vanished .

Then I see it coming- very slowly  - then the guy pulls it back to check again . Oh My God - what have they found ? 

Has someone slipped something into my luggage . Am I being framed . A knife ? Drugs? a large pair of scissors ? A gun ?  Nail clippers !So this is it - the day I have dreaded all my life . 

Everyone gets their hand luggage and moves on . I am told to open mine .

My mouth is dry - where the hell are the keys . I fumble - I sweat - I find the bunch of keys - which key is it - where are my spectacles - I find them and put them on - No no no- they are my distance ones.

Where are my reading glasses . I find them . Now where are the keys. I must not lose my ticket and passport in this  confusion. Panic sets in . 

I open the bag - my pressure has gone up - my heat beats fast . The guy asks me to empty my bag . He whispers something to a colleague . I struggle with the zip . They look at each other and at me . 

I try and act casual and take  everything out of  the bag . Its worse if a lady is checking the contents - they nit pick even more . 

I am asked to explain a small packet of Indian coins / why so many keys / a diary with a long pen - (maybe that was the tool I was going to use to hijack the plane ). Then yes- there are the nail cutters but they don't think I can do much harm with them and so they let them pass .

They find nothing -  nevertheless I am asked to hand over my Ticket and passport and the details are noted . The ticket is stamped again . 

I guess they have to do a thorough check of a certain  number of passengers daily - I am usually one of them  . 

Maybe its the look on my face and the general anxiety . It shows.............

Its over - I am through. I go aside - back goes the wallet , the mobile phones etc etc etc . into my pockets . Have I forgotten anything . 

Where in heavens name is that passport again . Its playing games with me for sure .

My ticket seems to have taken off without me and I panic - its  Ok - its in the passport and in the side pocket . Who put it there ? Not me . Who cares -  and all is well .

I have survived - the journey can begin . 

I sail through the flight - the food- the drinks - the loo - the seat - the guy beside me who keeps dozing off on my shoulder . 

I reach my destination - the whole procedure is reversed - Passport control , luggage scan , hand luggage scan .

Where is my ticket . 

I have been asked strange questions though. 

Where had I come from .

Why was I visiting this city .

When was I going back .

Where did I work . Was I travelling alone .

My bladder is bursting . My mouth is parched . 

-  then in the blink of any eye I am out and walking  free .

I am safe and have lived to travel another day .